Understanding is only the beginning.

"Understanding is only the beginning." 

"There is only one answer." 

These words have circled around my head my whole life. It's been a motto of sorts, but I always thought it related to something. Like a question.

To understand the question is the beginning, there is only one question. There are so many questions, and even if it was related to math, a world with only one answer, Steven Hawking proving two plus two equals five certainly blows that possibility away.

I live a normal life. Work in a diner, go to school, date sometimes, the usual.

My name is John Williams, long brown hair, I smoke, I'm no chain smoker though, maybe 4 to 6 a day. I normally wear all black. I', I don't really date. Most of the time it doesn't work out well. But that's going from 2 relationships. 

I'm not gonna think about that,

I'm 16 right now. It's a normal life. Friends, so on and so forth. But I really want to know what that motto pertains to. 

So sometimes I sit up late at night and think of questions.

Who are you? One answer it seems but there's too much to it.

What am I? Too many terms.

Who is my true love? I have no answer for that.

When will I die? That just seems too easy.

Is there a god? Too religiony.

What if none of this is real? That's too common.

Am I whole? I must be, because if not wouldn't I be insane?

What if you're conscious is fine, but you're subconscious is in shambles?

But why would that be the question?

Why are you avoiding the question?

Why am I talking to myself as if there are two people inside of me arguing logic?

Or there are three, and the third is in denial?

This can't be the question.

I need a smoke. Today's morning cigarette is camel, yayyyyyy.

Work in a few hours. I like work. I work at this nice little diner washing dishes with a machine and a sprayer. Not too bad, decent pay, decent hours.

Another girl only two years older than me works there as well. She's a senior. We hang out sometimes, it's nothing that big a deal. Maybe she'll have an answer to this.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Hey John, how's it going?" 

"Good, you Sarah?"

"It's going quite well, school's almost over and then it's off to college."

Sarah's definitely in the future. She has long black hair, blue eyes, and she looks like a nervous little thing but she's actually quite confident. She likes to wear black as well, but with more funny pictures on it. She has this nightshirt with Godzilla holding a teddy bear, it's cute.

"I have something crazy going on in my head, and I need your help."

I explain it to her after that sudden revelation and she thinks it's the strangest thing she's ever heard.

"You have ridiculous expectations for this question."

"Like I do for many things"

"You're growing up and this is only the beginning. The question is the thing you must find out. It's like the ultimate goal in life. It's the real life equivalent of 'What is the Matrix?'"

"A computer program with humans trapped-"

She smacks my forehead and says "Stop it."

"Alright, but I was hoping you could help me figure out the question."

"I'm betting in the back of your head you have a question that has an answer."

 "Like what?"

"Like your favorite color."

"It's primrose."

"Yeah, it's really pretty. I got a lipstick of the exact shade."

"You didn't."

"I've been wearing it this whole, don't you pay attention."

I finally take the time to look at her lips.

"I don't look at people's lips."

"But yet all the boys want to kiss them."

"Is that a challenge?"

She laughs and says "Not this time."

Not this time. But one day.

"So how's the boyfriend anyway?"

"We're doing same as always. You know, you should really start dating again."

"Dating who, the wall?"

"No, like Chelsea."

"But the walls so sexy. Look at those curves."

"Those are the curvy lines you drew on there when I turned 17, it was your first day and I had gotten in a fight with my boyfriend. You were like 'You're really pretty, I can't say beautiful cause I'm not in love with you, but this wall. God look at these curves.' while you were drawing the lines."

"I would f**k this wall. I would f**k the hell out of it."

"You are f*****g insane, that's what you are."

"Anyway, why Chelsea?"

"You guys get along."

"Like peanut butter and peanut butter with no bread. It's like Russian Roulette, sometimes we get along, sometimes not."

"You really should date more though. You're such a loner."

"I have friends."

"No girlfriends though."

"Nehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh."

"Don't neh me."

"Nehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh."

"Nehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh."

"NehnehnehnehnehnehnehnehnehnehnehNEH!"

"Give Chelsea a chance John. She's your age and everything. You guys just never try to get along."

"Maybe. I'll consider it."

"Good. Now get to work. I'm going to tell Chelsea you two are having a date this Friday here."

"Aren't I supposed to ask her out?"

"Not when I'm playing matchmaker. Now get to washing."

"Nehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh."

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"I'll see you later Sarah."

"Be careful, John. It's dark out and I know you live close by but still."

"You just don't trust the world."

"Neither do you."

"Yeah, but I'm awesome."

"Bye John,"

"See ya."

I walked out and lit a cigarette. Marlboro smooth menthol this time. Had to bum one off Sarah. Walking home is normal for me. I walk down a really busy street so I don't worry too much about being mugged or anything. 

By the time I get home, everyone's already asleep. Fine with me, I can play the game loud as I want. Got no school tomorrow anyway, it's parent teacher conferences. 

I'm playing the game when Sarah calls.

"Hey John. You alright?"

"Course, why?"

"I just broke up with my boyfriend cause he thought I was cheating on him with you. He's threatening to beat you up."

"Meh. I don't care. It's a stupid reason to fight especially when he's a jealous idiot, which I've told you numerous times, and if he does, I'm punching him in the throat. I don't respect him and he f*****g knows it. I've told what I do to people who start stupid s**t with me."

She laughs and says "John. You got in one fight with someone you didn't respect and now you think you're a badass."

"I told you, I'm awesome."

My window is suddenly broken by a brick, narrowly missing my head.

"I'm gonna kill you, you son of a b***h!" a certain drunken idiot yells.

"I'm gonna be right back."

I hang up and go into my closet and pull out my wooden tomahawk. It's really a piece of sturdy wood I found shaped somewhat like a tomahawk but still. I then put my phone on the charger. I walk downstairs and my mom's up and screaming at Sarah's ex. I walk outside and turn the corner and see the drunk ex and his sports car. 

I stop and take a moment to decide which I want to deface first. I decide on his sport car's back window.

I proceed to smash it.

"What the hell are you doing!?" the idiot yells.

"You come to my house and break my window and don't expect me to return the favor. You're an idiot, Brad. Your name is a cliche name for bad boyfriend. You're going to get your bones smashed by my friend Delphox here if you don't get back in your car and get the f**k away from my house."

Brad is a f*****g blonde haired idiot. He's buff as hell but he's a rich kid idiot. Also I'm tired and when I'm tired and angry I have a bad habit of being either extremely violent or extremely disrespectful.

The idiot charges at me. I pull back Delphox for a home run swing right at his stupid face.

Crack.

"And the crowd goes wild. Aaaahhhh. The bad boyfriend is down for the count."

Then I have a truly evil thought. A thought I enjoyed. 

I searched his unconscious body for his phone and called his dad.

Ring, ring, ring.

"Hello, is this Brad's dad?"

"Yes, who is this?"

"This is John Williams, the owner of the window your son just broke because he thinks his now ex-girlfriend was cheating on him with me. Your son's lying unconscious on the ground from being smacked in the face by a wooden tomahawk. I just wanted to let you know in advance why your son is going to be calling you from a prison cell later on tonight or tomorrow morning. And if I know my mother, it's too late for not calling the cops. Have a nice night, you're a great parent."

I hang up on him and throw Brad's phone into his car and go back inside.

"Mom, you called the cops right?"

"Of course, that kid's a psycho. Nice swing by the way. Now what was this all about?"

"He thought Sarah was cheating on him with me. I'm gonna call Sarah back and tell her what happened, then clean up the glass and pass out. Wake me up if the cops need to interview me."

"Alright, see you in an hour."

I go upstairs and call Sarah back.

"What happened, are you okay?!"

"Yeah, he's gonna be in the drunk tank for the night, probably gonna go to court for that window though,"

"I'm so glad you're okay, I'm so sorry."

"It's no big deal. Listen, I'ma pass out, I'll talk to you in the morning."

"Be careful John, really. Night."

"Night."

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I had given the police my story and they believed me. Of course, it helped that it was on 10 at night and people were sitting outside drinking when it all happened. I then went to work at 3 because I had work today.

Sarah felt so bad, it was adorable.

"I am so sorry John. I didn't mean to get you involved."

"Why did he think it was me of all people anyway?"

"Well, he asked me who I would be dating if we had never met. I told him to give me his answer first and he said it would be my friend Chelsea if he had a choice. I said it would be you."

I may have overreacted to this by almost choking on my water, which only made her feel worse.

"I'm so sorry John, really I am."

"It's alright, Sarah, it's just, damn. Why me?"

She's silent for a moment before she answers me.

"It's because you always make me smile. You're cute and funny and considerate."

"Well then." I say, then add "I'm gonna go sneak a smoke before boss shows up, you coming?"

"Yeah, sure."

We walk outside and smoke our respective cigarettes. Camel and Marlboro.

I'm feeling like I'm walking on a tightrope holding a nuke right now. I'm confused as hell. How do I react? Do I make a move or let her get over Brad and then make a move? Do I just take a chance?

Do I just take a chance?

Is that the question? No, it can't be.

I got it.

"Sarah. I've figured out what the question is. It's kinda long though."

"Alright."

"You're about to go to college. If we date, it'll turn long distance. It'll be fun as it is now but I'm not the only one involved in this question. The question is 'Do you want to give love a chance?" because love is the only thing that can make taking this risk worth it. Because if we don't fall in love in the space of time before you leave for college, we'll fall apart fast. Understanding is only the beginning. There is only one answer. What is it?"

"Yes."

Author's Note

I hope you enjoyed this story.