Sanity Fleeting 4

Labor Day has come about far chillier than forecasted. The overcast skies intermittently spit fat wet drops of late summer rain. Inside of Carina's small Kia we have the heat on though we're idling in an apartment complex's parking lot and the car isn't going anywhere. Today we're a little less packed in, just two in the backseat and of course two in the front, but whatever it takes to get the work accomplished.

"Okay," Carina looked up from the small slip of paper she was filling out and looked via the rearview mirror into the backseat. "Why don't you two hop out and do 10-15 or until you get cold and need to warm up?" Anita and Grace Muller, sisters and identical brunettes, the former my age and the latter in her last year of high school, were almost out of the car before she finished speaking. "And don't forget the 'Not At Homes'!"

Off to the side, so Carina won't see, I start a game of virtual chess on my phone. It's something to take up the time until it is our turn to get out of the car again. Of course I keep the 'My Ministry Assistant' app running in the background so I'm not completely wayward.

"Hey,sista!" Carina can't be fooled. "Hebrews 10:24-25! You can play with your phone all you want later when you're not supposed to be inciting to fine works."

Without protest I end the game and drop my phone back into my service bag.

"That's better." She smiles with her perfectly straight pearly teeth. "Now let's find something to talk about."

It doesn't matter that there's a 99% chance that whatever we're going to find to talk about isn't Bible based. As long as I am around these people I am not going to get any peace. Carina is one of the lucky few I entertain and tolerate. She is pleasant and doesn't meddle too much like older ones. Something Orchid has been telling me for ages. That I need to socialize with people my own age, quit hiding behind women old enough to be my grandmother, and get those biddies out of my business for good.

"So how's the semester going,Sage? Like your classes and professors alright?"

Our conversation is easy and light. For a few minutes I let down my guard some without realizing it and chat. We get along well, Carina and I, though we're polar opposites in every way conceivable.

The rear car doors are yanked open and instantly my mouth shuts.

"Got somebody at 14, but he was like 'yeah I'm already Catholic!'" Grace, the livelier of the two sisters, reported. "Everything else is not at homes."

Out of 20 apartments, we find only two people at home.

"Not to worry." Carina tells me cheerily as we walk back to the car after taking the last set of five. "They're so getting letters. And you can help me write them whenever you feel like coming over to my place again."

"I'm free Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays after 10." I shrug non-commitally.

"Friday around 2 o'clock then?"

"Sure." I shrug again.

************************************
The peaceful atmosphere of Carina's family home welcomes me as always and instantly takes a weight from my chest. When it comes to describing why I feel that way words fail me so I keep it to myself. To others I probably become quite a bit less standoffish, maybe even a bit approachable.

"Hello, Sister Stadt." I ease past her mother ,who is on her way upstairs to eat her lunch alone. She's a born and bred Southerner like my own mother, would talk to a sign post if that was all that was there, and yet she leaves me alone except for polite small talk. "How are you doing today?"

That's a simple question which I routinely refused to answer for so many years. However in their household I am nearly never agitated or anxious, which anyone who'd known me for a while would tell you is a mini miracle. Fear and neuroticism seem to be encoded in my DNA. Again I cannot explain it exactly.

"You know I saw you the other day, Sage." Sister Stadt pauses on the stairs. "You were in Hugo's with a little boy, maybe 9 years old or so. He was such a cute little guy."

"That would be my nephew Uriel. " I mumble attention on Pokemon Go. "He's actually almost 11. My mother's other daughter was almost 10 when I was born. I wasn't supposed to be."

"Well that might explain why I thought he was your little brother." Sister Stadt smiled and went on her way. "Maybe you can bring him with you to the Kingdom Hall one of these days."

Hyper and daring Uriel, the kind of kid that was certain to be on a maximum dose of Ritalin or Aderall if he lived anywhere except with his mother and stepfather. Orchid, though not as vehemently as that black woman given to us for a mother by some fluke of nature, hadn't been too in favor of my daily pill regime either. Without sole authority over me though, she hadn't been able to do anything about it.

"What time is it?" The letter writing consumes my full attention and before I realize it I have a dozen neatly penned placements. My uncoordinated but dominant left hand aches as I flex the stiff knuckle joints. "Huh?"

"Almost 4." Carina glances as her wristwatch.

From the pocket of my jeans I produce a palm sized plastic container, the rattling of which draws Carina's attention.

"Every Friday afternoon, no sooner than I was off the school bus and ushered inside the group home, I had to do this." I explain before dumping 6 pills in my mouth. "They always wanted to know if I did it at my sister's house too." I add after washing them down with lukewarm Grape Crush. " I always said 'yeah'."

"But did you really?"

"Nope." I admit."Orchid said I didn't need to be a zombie to stay with her."

"Your sister's a smart woman. Listen to her."

Author's Note

Feel free to comment

Reviews

[SweetNutmeg]

I found no technical details or nit picky stuff.

I am really enjoying getting to know Sage. More of her unfolds with each chapter and I am eager to know more. I am curious about many things, which is a good way to leave your reader. One thing I am curious about is her changing attitudes about the pills. She used to avoid taking them , but she voluntarily takes them now.

You are expressing her reticence and reserve well. I can feel how painfully tied up she is. It feel quite anxious, reading about her. Which shows how sympathetically you've portrayed her and how involved I am as a reader.

You're doing a fantastic job of pulling me in and engaging my emotions. Good work!