The Child I Was

A poem about a difficult and lonely childhood

English: I was searching for my guardian angel. Someone to save me. I was longing for someone to care. A precious child without hope. You could have save me. Nobody could or would. I pleaded without words. A precious child begging for someone to help. Why no one came?  I do not know, but I never stopped hoping. I was searching for my guard angel. Who is going to love the lonely child when It cannot turn to mother or father? The child without anyone to care for it. The child who put herself to bed every single night from her earliest years and rocked herself to sleep, who had no loved version of herself except the one she created and learned to be her own best friend, who knew well what utter loneliness and worthlessness felt like, sustained by the voices in her head on the days when not even her own mother talked to her, who learned to suffer in silence and carried the weight of the world on her shoulders. A child crippled by anxiety and often afraid to go home after school. 

 Nobody, that is who. So many people saw. Such sad eyes. It is already too late. Searching, hoping, and longing.....this person did not come and that profoundly disturbed child still resides within me. She must be heard. Will you give her a voice?