you're consuming

Getting lost in this book I started reading earlier today, three hours straight not noticing the time until I started imagining myself with you replacing the characters… they were dancing together and I started thinking what if I had to dance with you the same way someday? Would I be able to? Would you like it? The way I dance… or would you start laughing on how much of a bad dancer I am, then I was shocked of this insecure feeling I got… worried that you won’t like me, I even wanted to get up and try dancing in front of the mirror just to see how I’d look although I have danced so many times stupidly and crazy in front of it before, I continued reading, leading my face to flush in redness, losing myself in this book creating this world of imagination; where it’s us instead.. that’s when I suddenly realized that it’s not the book that is burying me in this world but it’s the thoughts of you, my face flushed again and I felt this weird mixed up unwanted emotions finding their way to the center of my nerves as I reject them, how can I be lost in someone that I have only met a few weeks ago? I wondered, No I can’t let this happen, I don’t want to feel this way… not again, although this time it’s different it’s a feeling that I have never felt before, you make me nervous just by imaging myself with you and it feels irresistibly uncomfortable and the mad thing about it I find it fascinating and I like it, damn it… I struggle to find my way back to the storyline trying to push you out of my head, but I keep failing, I keep seeing you between the freaking lines, I keep seeing us in a world that was created for another… goddamn it.. I shall not allow myself to fall for you, not this way at the very least… 
I close the e-book, placing my mobile on charger, resting my eyes.. but mostly running away from these thoughts, rejecting them with all the power I got.

Mon-