Way beyond hurt

I don’t know what I’m supposed to feel,
I think I’m lost again..
Pain I’m trying to seal,
I’m being followed by the gray cloud of rain.

 My pride that I can’t stand
is it a bless or was it a curse?
feelings are banned
heart beats of an empty chest

always ending up in the same place
same words, another depressing song
lies again I have to face..
lying to myself is just wrong..

no matter how many were around me
I’m always standing alone.
probably stronger I’ll be..
one emotionless stone.
 
People please understand..!!
I’m saying this one last time,
stop  blaming me for my heart turning to sand
I died in one  ugly crime.

I’m way beyond hurt
there’s nothing left of me to kill
I've been covered up with dirt
I hope you’re thrilled.

today I found myself laughing
but it didn't  sound right
how to laugh I have forgotten
that was an another ugly sight.