Undermined

There is anger in my soul.  All this time in this life of mine I have learned plenty about anger. I worked so hard, my bones are now sore, my eyes are now tired and my soul is now weary. I have more experience in sorrow than most that are here, I am still not good as I should be. I am told that what I feel can not compare, that nothing I say matters, or heals the pain. If I just stop would I still be loved the same. I lock the door behind me, and feel safe, I can cry, I can feel the pain without being called weak, but in the eyes that matter, I will never be enough, it has to always be a race, and I already know I am coming in last. I am not what I use to be, I am at war with love, the battle scares do not fade, but these are just reminders that I made it, I made it to see another day.

I am a women, I walk, I talk, I feel, and I hurt, I laugh. I have spirit so fierce that it could make you wonder if I could fly to the moon, I just want to talk to you, say I understand. Then you throw every road block in my way, I trip, I stumble but I do not fall. I am still here, I am not leaving, but its not the end, you still think I am a dumbfounded mine, no life experience but you do not know the half of it. I beg and pled to feel what you feel, I can only do so much.

You tell me to let it go, act as none of the fight happen. I feel so much but you suppress it, and only show anger. I want to walk barefoot to the stars with you. Time can only tell, the pain will fade and so will my faith that you will ever see me as a woman, and not just a girl you are with, I am still human and still keeping up, but my breath is running out, and my legs are tired from running. So this is my statement to you to say I need you to understand and not undermine me like you always do.

I want to feel sexy, playful, cute, but the acts are always cut short, and you expectations are never full. I see the moon and I feel the sun, its hit or miss with you, it is night and day. I see your spirit and then the rain follows. I have been taught to feel so unloved, undeserving, I was wrong to think different now.