E.C.O. 3rd draft beginning

This is just near the beginning of a screenplay I've worked on over the years. This is just a part of the 3rd version.

INT. ORION RESEARCH - DAY

The white walls covered in metallic dust surround work benches. A metallic arm hovers over a bench as a blue line scans it below. A small computer display of notes sits next to the arm with the title "Electromagnetic Crystal Oscillators - ECO"

Five numbered metal cages line one of the walls with chimp-like creatures in four of them. The first "chimp's" hand glows as he hits the cage. The other "chimps" show an increased number of glows from their body's that mirror the number on their cage. The fifth shows scorch marks and blood stains.

SIG, mid 20's, with scruff, slick clothes, and wearing goggles stands above the metallic arm and scans the arm with his eyes. He peers around the room. Sig shuffles through the display of notes that show, "use electromagnetic impulses", "created war between three planets", and "biological computers".

The scan stops and Sig places his right hand above the arm. His hand glows blue and electricity flows from his hand to the arm. As Sig moves his hand so does the metallic one. Beads of sweat drip down his face.

The "chimps" shake their cages. The sound grows.

Sig continues to focus on the arm as the electrical connection between his hand and the metallic arm breaks.

Sig slams his fist onto the table and the glow from his hand vanishes.

SIG

Shut up!

The four chimps stop their noise. Sig stares at the palm of his hand. He types on his notes, "affected by anger?".

A hand appears on Sig's shoulder. He jumps and turns to face IVAN, mid 50's. Sig takes off his goggles.

IVAN

I can't let you stay any longer, Sig.

SIG

Give me five minutes on the range.

Ivan takes a breath.

IVAN

Five minutes.

INT. SHOOTING RANGE - DAY

Rustic metal walls and small blue sensors line the ceiling. Panels with guns from one wall flip over. A door slides open.

Sig walks in and grabs a handgun with his right hand. He places his left hand on the blue sensor. A numeric display appears and he presses several buttons. 

COMPUTER VOICE

Sig scenario.

The gun panel flips back and black and white numbered targets appear from the walls, ceiling, and floor.

COMPUTER VOICE

Hit the red, yellow, and green numbers.

Sig's right hand glows blue. Blue spheres fire out from the gun at the 1, 3, and 7 targets. The remaining targets recede and the gun panel flips over showing the guns. Ivan enters the room holding a phone the size of a credit card.

IVAN

There's a government agent on the line. Tessa Larson.

SIG

Again?

Sig takes the phone from Ivan and holds it to his mouth.

SIG

Just a sec I'm performing an experiment.

Sig tosses the phone in the air and switches his gun to the left hand. He fires at the phone and it shatters in midair.

Author's Note

It's just part of a whole but I would love the critique.

Reviews

[C.M Grogan]

How much more of this do you have? I would be interested in reading more. As of now, it's a very interesting bit...I do believe the descriptions you provide at the beginning of this to be quite effective in establishing the mood. Have you thought about turning this into a short story? I think it'd make an interesting one.

[Chek]

This is the 3rd version which I have a total of 25 pages but I stopped due to not liking where it was headed and started to write it in novel form. I only have a couple pages of that however.

[C.M Grogan]

That's interesting. Well if you'd want me to look over those 25 pages feel free to send them my way.