A Ship in the Gloom

On the milky margin drifts

a ship, rocking like a tired soldier,

war-torn and indifferent beneath

the gauzy halo of the moon

 

From the shore I watch her lurching,

a to-and-fro motion that sets me dizzy

until my vision is a narrow tunnel

wrestling with the raging sea

 

Frothing, the mighty beast

licks her heaving wooden sides

and I wonder at her fortitude,

which is more than I can manage

 

On the sand I am steady, sheltered

and yet I feel the deck beneath my feet,

battered and buffeted I brace for ill weather

and watch the clouds closing in

Reviews

[Crowley]

I give you an A plus. I think I have given you an A plus on everything I have read of yours. I may not be your #1 fan, there are plenty lined up to provide the stalking, but I am definitely a huge fan. Sunday morning is good as long as I have one of your poems to read.

[An owl on the moon]

What a mystical, magical write.. you transport us to the sea and the wonders of a ship adrift on the waves.. Deep and vivid, painted with dark colors on your canvass...

[Terry Collett]

Your art & craft have served you well. Poem has your fine touch and wordsmithness. Images come from this that make happy to share.

[Ed Hart]

There's a lot of just praise stacking up here. I can't imagine sensitive readers not immediately finding themselves by your side. This is so very universal, to the soulful.

[Poetic Beauty]

Your poem transported me to a sandy shore with cloudy overcast day. I see a woman standing on the shore watching the ship at sea on rough waves. I love the imagery and the story telling.

[Ferg]

Very nicely written! I take from it a sense of watching another struggle with a burden, feeling empathy, yet being on the fringe, just watching in wonderment at the strength of the other amid the turbulence. Great imagery.
I trip a bit over the word "gauzy" and would suggest something less harsh there, like "delicate" or "transparent"....just a suggestion for an otherwise very strong piece!

[MattWheatus]

Classically elegant in style and message. I love the metaphor and the imagery; this is so well conveyed. The image of the ship as a beast, the sensation of the concerned onlooker feeling like they're in the eye of the storm... wow and wow!!

[Katie Richards]

Haunting....yet beautiful! I love this!

[Fabian G. Franklin]

Don't put out the lifeboat baby, you know that it won't hold/ the waters here are deep and dark and turning so cold/while the storm; it may seem endless and the sails are all ripped/ a good captain goes down on his ship... From my song, Good Captain.

I understand the metaphor perfectly. I think you are stronger than you know; able to weather the storms of life with grace...and even squeeze a poem out of life's lemons! Great poem!