Newport At Night

 

 

Under a full moon,

I concentrate on my feet

melting through the sand

and try a little too hard

not to notice the derelicts

settling in for the night,

burying each other’s heads in the sand

for warmth,

 

and the teenagers

creating their own void

like some witchdoctor in the wild

only they’re not dancing around fires

or bleeding goats,

they’re wasting for the sake of

wasting

 

and I forget myself for a moment,

tripping over my own worn out feet,

until I’m hands and knees in the

quicksand

wondering if there really is

more to life than contemplating

the inevitable

Reviews

[Tony]

I love the picture you have painted here, I don't know if you are talking about Newport, RI or Newport Beach, CA. I have been to both and Newport, RI is a place I am so familiar with, one of my favorite places for romance and reflection.
This piece is deep and very sad, as I see it. The inevitable, whatever that may mean...death or the end of something that was good in your life. You bring this to the reader with emotion and a hollow heart. Excellent

Antony

[Lucia Morgan]

this is beautiful and flowed effortlessly. i love how you portray the world around you, our your imagenary enviroment, either way, you paint a most intricate picture for the minds eye. to me, this poem is about lifes overwhelming realities. Your expressed a great sense of loss and hopelessness. i have no negative critic.

[An owl on the moon]

Your free-flowing thoughts bring alive the depth of night and those who sleep under the blanket of stars. I lived in Costa Mesa for two years... Saw Newport at night... You paint a vivid picture of now and the sense of what lies ahead... Powerful words.

[Erin Lee]

This is super. It brings me right there, with you, to the beach. I bet you wrote this in your notebook while actually standing on the beach. (And if you didn't, all the power to you b/c it seems so real!) Great write!

[alwaysmovefast]

I love the sense of imagery in this. The flow of your poem is continuous and doesn't keep the reader hanging. I also would like to point out the way you use the very last word for the next line. I don't know, to me, it just keeps my attention and it makes the writing more dramatic but in a good way. Very well done.

[Dane Osborne]

Very impressive and very true.Waste and disilliusion is our condition, and unfourtuantely its not likely to be cured. I always viewed mankind as a vicitim of its own nature. Religon, politics,drugs,morals, self help books, tabloids with plastic media created gods inside of them. THese are all our means for either forgetting or transcending our nature and it always ends up knocking us on our a*s. THats just an inference from what i get from this poem. I don't see myself as a pessimist just a realist. Very well written and put together send me your stuff anytime:)

[V. Lucien Maier]

nice descriptions

[Jeff Loquist]

Great imagery here...it is a wondrous feeling to be able to lose the world...if only for a moment

[Madness is Insanity]

I like the rhythm, nice and flowing and the imagery is amazing. I think this is better than most of my poems. love it.

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

This is really amazing... the imagery you set compliments the emotions of internal conflict really nicely. Very impressive.