Ascension

Sunset swings on beams of dusk,

 

a hue that reminds me of tomorrow,

reminds me of the days that are still unborn,

 

and I slide along the river’s edge

my footsteps skimming the delicate grasses

bare against the softness, toes gripping,

releasing, keeping my body erect as I

 

steady myself, raising my arms like wings,

fingers searching for the particles within the particles,

the spaces between where only I can see

 

the beauty within the chaos, my skin electric

bare and smooth, whispering to the breezes

in a language reserved for only those who truly believe

that life is more than a linear path, drawn

 

from one point to the next, and I close my eyes

while dreaming of a place where snow falls in flakes,

dances with the naked branches of trees ready for winter,

 

where my breath becomes moonlit fog,

rising, rising, rising to a place where starlight sings

and  planets rest quietly in a blanket of darkness

Reviews

[Ed Hart]

oh, come walk with me, and let us talk of particles, and those inside of that, and why the sea is boiling hot, and whether pigs have wings...

[Talliesin]

Truly wonderful poem, beautiful and loved the clarity in the line "that life is more than a linear path, drawn" - brought the rest of the stanza together and made the lines before seem even more alive, overall just loved the poem :)

[Fabian G. Franklin]

What an excellent piece of verse! I very much enjoyed this write, your descriptive usage and plain speech make the poem both easy to comprehend and an entertaining work of art. The strategically placed repetitions add to the picture of your vision and fit snugly into place like pieces of a jigsaw puzzle. But there's no puzzle to the rational and well written hope you inspire with your words here. Very well done.

[Emily B]

this is amazing and beautiful, I felt myself rising as I read it

[Mary]

wow i really liked this, it was soothing and beautiful!!! good imagery, great write:)

[Locairin]

Beauty within chaos, the contrast is wonderful in your poem.

[Dane Osborne]

the beauty within the chaos, my skin electric

bare and smooth, whispering to the breezes

in a language reserved for only those who truly believe

that life is more than a linear path, drawn.

My favorite stanza of the whole piece, it summed everything up perfectly. When looking at nature aand existence general it is only when one strips away everything of the conventionality of how they were taught to see it and break away to learn to look at things outside of all that can they realy see any real beauty. I think that way of thinking is what seperates a real individual from an automaon that breathes. Well done:)

[Georgia Gypsy]

The imagry is so breathtaking! I had to read it more than once becuase it takes me to a place so beautiful, so solitary, its easy to get lost in those woods...
Wonderful!! I really love this! going in my fav's!!
-kelli

[Tara♥Undefined&h..]

This is a beautiful poem. It reaches out to the reder and pulls them in. I loved it. Great job!!!