So How'd Ya Get There Son?

The story of how I lost it all, wanted to end it all, and somehow managed to press forward.

How’d ya get there son? You seem so bright.

You’re void of any fun, and you’re so uptight.

Your eyes look hollow, and your heart full of spite.

So how’d ya get there son? You just seem so damn bright.

When the choice is fun or rent, I’d rather have a place to sleep.

When the choice is rent or gas, I’d rather be able to get myself to work.

When the choice is gas or food, I’d rather be able to eat.

When the choice of food finally disappeared, it was then I lost my crooked little smirk

It was when I lost the love of my life, like those two perfect years had never existed.

And when I lost my mind, the world became a place so dark and twisted.

And when I lost my health, and had nowhere to turn.

And when I lost myself, and only wished for the world to burn.

When I watched everything I own be thrown to the curb.

When my only escape from it all became a stinky green herb.

When my survival became dependent on the charity of others.

When I fucked up the friendships of men closer than brothers.

When I lost all of that and more in only the span of a month.

Followed by enough time passing I forgot the feeling of triumph.

It was when I began talking to myself just to have company.

It was when my lonely rambles sounded more like a cacophony.

And just when I thought I had had enough.

When I figured this life was just too f*****g tough.

When permanent darkness sounded better than false hope.

Procured by a taut rope with a few final chokes.

It was then I realized I had already died.

Still breathing after having committed suicide.

Everything about me was dead and rotting,

And from the ashes a new man was already walking.

Sure, burnt around the edges from life catching on fire.

Floating emptily through life wearing a fake a*s smile

And yeah, maybe I have picked up a cynical kind of style.

But would you consider it better than being suicidal?

So, old man, I hope I answered your question.

And if I may interject my own little suggestion.

It’s not a question of how I arrived here today,

But a statement of how someday I’ll seize the day.

Duty is heavier than a mountain, death lighter than a feather.

Can one enjoy sunny days without knowing s****y weather?

My eyes may be hollow, and my heart full of spite,

But I’ll live to see tomorrow, maybe I’ll be alright.

Reviews

[Renée]

Your name was a draw for me.. ( : Sounds as if you over came much...takes a little salt to make chocolate flavorful...I do believe life is the same way...

[Milktoast]

Thank you :) Haha I've been using Milktoast for as long as I can remember...Well over a decade. And yes, I do believe life is the same way as well. Well put!

[Renée]

as a child I was given milk toast for breakfast.. ( :