My Back Seat's All Covered in Puppy Goo!

Inspired by a friend who rescued a pregnant pit bull and was only worried about the dog giving birth in the back seat during the two hour trip.

So this b***h got locked up somewhere in Cleveland,

Thrown in a kill shelter by a couple of heathens.

She got knocked up while she was in heat,

And is now giving birth all over my back seat!

It's a 2 hour drive and I dunno wtf I'm gonna do,

Now my back seat's all covered in puppy goo!

She's howling super loud and mother nature's a knockin'

I'm FREAKING THE F**K OUT and the puppies keep droppin'!

Puppies piled up past my rear view mirror,

This situation is becoming extremely queer!

They're overflowing in to the front of the car,

And an hour left in the trip but that's too far!

F**k, pull over on the side of the highway,

It's just not looking like today's my day...

The doors burst open with hundreds of puppies!

Maybe Pitty's done giving birt -- "Oh, f**k me!"

It's like a machine gun that just keeps spitting em' out,

With puppy goo everywhere and a faint scent of trout!

Oh man, what the hell did I get myself in to?

I was just trying to save Pitty, that's all I wanted to do!

And now my back seat's all covered in puppy goo :(

Author's Note

Puppy goo = Puppy placenta.