The first thing you see is white. A wide, smooth, glistening
blanket of white. Then you touch it, and gather it in your hands. The white
settled into your palms before melting and dripping back down to the ground. The
flakes dissolve and all that is left is the chill on your skin, the cold to
commemorate their short life.
You step forward and your feet sink into the ground. You
close your eyes and flakes fall on your lashes. All around you, cold winter
winds lick and kiss at your skin, and you can feel it pass through, come around,
and then return again. You raise your hands to catch the flakes and, as they
fall, they melt. They may even slip through your fingers and land on the
ground.
The trees are dead, the branches sticking out and around like
fingers reaching for nothing. Points as sharp as knives are coated with the
white, and glittering frost drips and forms needles underneath the expanse. The
tree isn’t tall, but it isn’t small. It seems to grow larger as the flakes fall
on it. From where you stand, it seems small, as though you can hold it in your
hand.
You blink and realize that your home is gone. You stand now
in the middle of a vast expanse of glistening white. Even the tree is gone. Everything
is gone. The skies are grey and the winds seem more brutal than before. Suddenly,
you blink again and a wall stands before. You reach forward to touch it, but
the wall is ice.
You question how and why. Winter seems so dangerous yet
beautiful. It manifests your fears and fantasies. From the beauty of the snow
to the danger of the sharp icicles, you realize that your fears are slowly
becoming reality.
The beauty is fading.
Is that blood on the snow, how did it get there? You wish it
gone, so it goes.
Ah, but what else can you possible fear. A man standing in
the distance as the wall collapses, perhaps? He waits for you, and you are
tempted to go, but then you see the shard in his hand, so you turn to run. No,
but your feet are deep in snow. He’s coming closer and closer, but you seem to
be running slower and slower.
The man is gone. A single red rose sits in the middle of the
ocean of snow. You kneel down to pick it up, but it wilts at your touch, and the
petals melt. Blood again on the snow, but then you blink and they become
rubies.
You stand once more, and winter becomes beautiful again.
You turn to face the other side, and just beyond the wall of
ice, you witness a rare sunrise. Spring stands beyond the expanse of your fear,
but winter draws you farther into its clutches.
Spring is fading, Winter grows.
So there you stand, between winter and spring. Rare are such
moments.
You close your eyes. When you open them again, it is dark.
Yeesh. I hope this doesn't slip into my dreams. I was lulled into the false security of the beauty of winter and then there's a psychedelic sequence implying murder.
Very well penned.
Congratulations. You have bested me in "Short Short Stories, None longer than about 400 words". How cool would it be if it became common courtesy to review those who placed higher than you in a contest? If you have time, check out Escape!, Something New, Taste, and Rehab.
Posted 9 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
9 Years Ago
Thanks for stopping by and reading! I haven't been on here as much as I would like (winter intercess.. read moreThanks for stopping by and reading! I haven't been on here as much as I would like (winter intercession is kicking my a*s...) but when I do get time, I'll definitely give that a look, for sure!
I'm sorry if this story does give you a bad dream, though. I just really, really, really don't like winter... :P
Yeesh. I hope this doesn't slip into my dreams. I was lulled into the false security of the beauty of winter and then there's a psychedelic sequence implying murder.
Very well penned.
Congratulations. You have bested me in "Short Short Stories, None longer than about 400 words". How cool would it be if it became common courtesy to review those who placed higher than you in a contest? If you have time, check out Escape!, Something New, Taste, and Rehab.
Posted 9 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
9 Years Ago
Thanks for stopping by and reading! I haven't been on here as much as I would like (winter intercess.. read moreThanks for stopping by and reading! I haven't been on here as much as I would like (winter intercession is kicking my a*s...) but when I do get time, I'll definitely give that a look, for sure!
I'm sorry if this story does give you a bad dream, though. I just really, really, really don't like winter... :P
Beautiful! This was incredibly descriptive... I could feel the snow and the cold just from reading this. I enjoyed the part about being chased by a man in the snow. I could feel the weight of the snow slowing me down and bogging me down as i read. Great job with that and it was a very unique story!
Another wonderful work by you, Mila. It was snowing as I read this, which only pulled me into the story more. Possibly the only good thing that comes out of this horrid weather. Damn you, Canada.
Just one mistake I found, near the end of the story the word "possible" should be "possibly." Great work and thanks for sharing.
Posted 9 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
9 Years Ago
Thank you very much! And dang, I knew I missed something, thanks for catching that! :)
Winter is my favorite time of year. Unfortunately i rarely get snow, usually rain or sleet, so the imagery here is really nice for me. i think this is well written and i think i agree that there is a certain Game of Thrones vibe which, if anything, makes this all the more convincing.
keep writing, this is a lovely piece.
Posted 9 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
9 Years Ago
Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed. I do love Game of Thrones, so that's always a compliment!
And.. read moreThank you! I'm glad you enjoyed. I do love Game of Thrones, so that's always a compliment!
And I can relate, fall is my favorite season but I don't get to experience it properly where I live.
Thanks for stopping by!
I really like the way you wrote about winter. I love the originality of the writing and the ideas. It's just not something you think about everyday and I like it when I find writing that makes me think of something in a new way. Very well written!
I sometimes wish I could visit your mind, Your writing, and your imagination captures your reader, and as one of your reader's let me just say, I love the captivity
ALL WINNERS FROM MY CONTESTS WILL HAVE THIER WORKS FEATURED ON MY WATTPAD ANTHOLOGY WITH FULL CREDIT GIVEN TO THEM! PLEASE LET ME KNOW WELL BEFORE HAND IF YOU DO NOT WANT ME TO FEATURE YOUR WORK!
A.. more..