Snapshot

Watching her grow through pictures isn’t easy

            The day she first smiled

                        I was fighting with my best friend

            Her first word wasn’t momma

                        I was dousing my pain in chocolate liqueur

            The first step taken wasn’t towards my arms

                        Those were being pulled behind my back at 17

 

The only time I see her is through polaroid pictures

            Those beautiful brown eyes

                        matching the mud-pies in her little hands

            Brand new teeth

breaking through gummy filled smiles

Regret has become my best friend and confidant

            The bars are now the arms that hold back temptation

                        Mary got me into trouble but I chose harder friends

Smiling at the visits from family

            The pictures are the only gift I’ve wanted

            I have a few months left

                        I won’t see her,

                        Her dad made sure of that,

                        I will be a stranger in her life,

My heart aches knowing that I won’t:

            Be at her first day of school,

            Meet her first boyfriend

            Mend her first heartache,

For now, until she’s ready I will miss the title: Mom.

Author's Note

Be honest what do you think? Anything that could change?