The grief

Colder than concrete,
Colder than a cigar not lit,
Colder than frozen blood,
Colder than deaths in flood,
Colder than winter's breeze,
Your words are enough to make me freeze.
Cold enough to make me cry,
New tears you give before the old ones dry.
Cold enough to break me into nothingness,
Colder than frost is your harshness.
Chill is biting into my skin but the cold is more than skin deep,
Into my soul, the grief of your absence did seep.

Reviews

[Elizabeth Mars]

I love the juxtaposition in the beginning! The "colder than..." lines that lead up to the "your words are enough to make me freeze". I love it! Also I enjoyed the ending, the rhyme made a smooth and easy transition to the end which was beautifully done. This is such a wonderful poem that it deserves to have one little mechanic tweak, all you need to do is fix the 'u' in "new tears u give..." to 'you' and you've got a wonderfully made poem!

xx. -- Elizabeth

[Mikku]

Thanks a lot...i'll surely correct that mistake..

[Taino]

I couldn't help rereading your poem several times. The emotion, so strong, comes forth. Deeply moving.
Keep writing!

[Mikku]

Thanks a lot