Intro to Essays on Me

A biting and witty intro I wrote one time that I think nailed it on the head for what I wanted to convey leading into a collection of essays i intend to write

Introduction

    My mind leaves me very unfocused and often very frustrated with my ability to write and more overly express my thoughts.  I think in abstractions and I make connections between concepts that seem profound, and often are, but are hard to express to those who think more concretely.  Language feels often like an insurmountable barrier for me, a wholly inadequate medium for the ideas I wish to express.  With this collection of writings I aim not to be specific with my thoughts.  Perhaps I might alleviate my frustration with trying to re-invent the wheel, trying to lay down a framework that might change hearts and minds and bring a significant number of people to a new understanding of life and reality, by giving you brief insights and descriptions into how my mind works, how I perceive reality, and the philosophy for life I’ve garnered as a result of these observations.  

It is likely that I may contradict myself and call myself out for it.  In writing this I likely will be learning as much as any reader would about myself.  There will not be strict adherence to the rules of sentence and paragraph structure.  I may very well make up some words, but I will be sure that they seem like words that could exist.  Could and very well should.  From the perspective of most individuals I may come off as radical in my opinions, and furthermore, I will likely upset “normal” peoples sensibilities when I actually start making sense.    

I am an individual, first and foremost.  I consider myself a member of no particular group, sect, or nation.  I am not a patriot, and I am not a defender of “the faith”, faith of any kind.  I understand that human necessity for belief in certain things, it is often the catalyst for action.  We cannot always wait for facts and 100% affirmation to make decisions.  However, I feel it a necessity in life to adjust behaviors, decisions, and action in light of concrete observations.  Living this way often puts me at odds with many groups who hold to beliefs that are not rooted in facts and observation about how the world really works.  

I mention my conviction for individuality so I am not mistaken for an idealogue of any sort.  I speak for no ones dogma, faith, or agenda.  I will say the niche of society I have identified best with are the outcasts, the strange ones, those whose minds are similarly ablaze with creativity, humor, intensity, conviction, and skepticism.  I would say I’ve had a tendency towards hyperactivity and distraction much of my life, and in my young adulthood I have been diagnosed and treated for depression, anxiety, and more recently (now in late 2010) rapid cycling style bipolar.  These traits in me have inexplicably caused a gravitation towards others who share these tendencies.  

Despite having a group that I have shared interests with or felt more comfortable around, I make no attempt to conform to any particular philosophy I have found amongst such individuals.  I encourage debate, I enjoy the company of those who can disagree with me and not feel threatened by difference of opinion.  So if readers make it through this scatter shot of my thoughts without having the urge to rip out the pages, if people can see through this window into my mind and not declare me “evil” or “immoral”, we likely could enjoy each others company.

What you will find beyond this introduction are mini-essays on a number of topics.  There

will not be concerted efforts to flesh out large chapters nor a focused concern for solving particular societal problems.  This is mostly due to the fact that I can’t focus long enough to perform a task of such ambition.  There will be some attempt to have these mini-essays sorted into some broad categories.  But this is mostly for convenience.  These gathered thoughts really could be read in any order at any time of the day.

I’m already semi-irritated at trying to make this introduction some kind of launching pad for my orgy of life observations.  Hence the reasoning behind keeping each thought on the particular topics short and sweet.  While the creativity feels fresh, and the ideas seem novel, I aim to capitalize on those moments, fleeting as they are.  I can already tell there will be moments that I have to drag myself through the doldrums, deal with the frustration that is art and expression.  Cause the honest truth is a lot of it is complete s**t.  The situation is not helped very much by the fact that I will have moments where I think it is s**t and it might actually be pretty good.  Or, in a hypomanic state feel I am writing the new preamble for humanity and its really just cocky rubbish, perhaps even near delusion.  Thankfully I’m pretty good at acknowledging this within a day or two.  Elevated moods and elevated perception of my individual significance in the world are very concentrated periods of time, and pass quickly.  I come back to earth most times quite softly and am reassured by the actuality of my relative insignificance in the universe.     

Author's Note

say what you want, I like constructive criticism