The Storm

A series of conversations between two men in a dying world.

how long have you been here?
-where?
on the road.
-that depends.
on what?
-what year is it?
a late year.
-then a long time.
a long time.
-yes.
and your child, how old is he?
-i think he is six, I'm not sure. my watch doesn't work.
take mine.
-i couldn't.
take it. there's a spare battery in the bag, somewhere in there.
-you don't need it?
not where I'm going.
-and where are you going?
home.

 

-is that why you have the gun?
it is.
-you're gonna do it.
yes.
-may I...
may you what?
-may I have it...when you're done?
it won't be any use to me.
-so yes?
yes.

 

-a bird.
where?
-on that branch.
where? i can't see.
-look closely, it's resting on the end. it's covered in ash.
oh my lord.
-i know.
i haven't seen one in years.
-me neither.
it's beautiful.
-it is.
it's beautiful.

 

-what do you taste?
i taste peaches.
-peaches?
peaches. red wine. a hint of autumn.
-divine.
and you?
-what do i taste?
what do you taste?
-i taste charlette's cooking. the cold lemonade she brought out to me and samuel the years before the storms began.

 

your son is far out.
-he knows how far he can go.
and the string around his waist?
-you can never be too careful.
not with the ones you love.

 

do you miss her?
-who?
your wife?
-of course.
you never cry.
-i care for samuel. i can not let him see me cry.
you're lucky.
-why?
you still have someone to hide your tears from.

 

the storm is coming.
-yes.
just like yesterday.
-yes.
it will kill us one day.
-one day.
it will kill us all.
-maybe, but today is not that day, and I pray it will not come soon.
but I do.
-then you are lost.

 

-are you leaving?
yes.
-where to?
i've already told you.
-is there nothing I can say--
no.
-nothing at all?
no.
-then go.

 

*gunshot*

 

papa?
-yes, samuel?
where is uncle vern?
-he's gone.
gone?
-yes.
where did he go?
-somewhere where he could be free. somewhere where the ash doesn't blow in the wind to choke our lungs. somewhere where the sun shines brightly in our western sky.
where is that, papa?
-home.

Reviews

[Damian Alan Gray]

Not to parrot TJ Timmins, but I was amazed at how well the personalities and the environment came across in this story even though you used no description. This is a good write, but moreover it is an interesting write. Short as it was, it nevertheless left me wondering where and how the story might progress further. It also left me speculating as to what sort of storms may have caused all this death, destruction and hopelessness. Ah, but I suppose a good tale SHOULD leave the reader questioning and using his or her own imagination to fill in the blanks. So, bravo! I also want to offer you some extra kudos for using the word *gunshot* instead of something like *bang*. With this simple wording, like the rest of the story, you do not disregard the reader's intelligence. Again, Bravo! Impressive writing from an impressive mind.

[Red Brick Keshner]

Literally blown away.... haven't read a dialog poem in a long, long time; not of this calibre anyway.

[Angie Diane♥&hea..]

This was awesome. You really could tell what the character was feeling. I loved this a lot. Going into my favorites. Thanks for sharing. :)

[Brad]

wow! i am very glad we have met, you are one HELL of a writer

[closed acouttt]

i'm not very good at giving the best reviews, so i'll say that it was great! more like prose poetry than a story.=)

[Fabian G. Franklin]

This is like prose poetry more than story and your dialogue is great in building character description, it builds a certain empathy with the players... I hear Dorothy saying "there's no place like home"

[Michael X]

Michael, a story? this read like an excellent poem in my opinion,
and has the quality that draws the reader to ponder, especially important
in opening and closing lines which you've managed to do,
honestly wow, this just swept me away, one of the best pieces
I've read in a while. gots me wishin you had a part 2 to this.

[Emily B]

Oh, damn! I guess it's been a while since I've read your words. I am completely blown away by this apocalyptic conversation. Something as simple as 'going home' takes on such huge proportions in the light you've drawn. My sincerest thanks to C. Boylan for sending this my way.

[Angel's Lady]

Much different from your usual flare...
Definitely original to say the least.
The Storm. Interesting title even.

[Raef C. Boylan]

Excellent work on conveying situation and character to us through nothing but dialogue.
I didn't read the description until afterwards either, and I'm glad because I was able to work it out for myself, and can let you know how effectively this is structured.
An example would be how we know the son is swimming [well, i thought he was] without anyone having to mention that fact, which is realistic as we tend not to say things in full when speaking.
Like, "- a bird".
Great write Michael, thanks for sharing it with me.

[Paza]

Your writing never fails to amaze me. This was short, succinct, no word wasted, yet enough to bring out a terrific story. Great work!