Paint Me the Sky

Paint me a canvas in the sky.
Let the ocean be the brush,
and the canyon,
the empty pail.

 

Let the pitter-patter gum drops
rain from Eden's gates.
To fill the ocean
with shards of fiery jade.

 

Cut down forests
of hard candy,
laid bare in their sugary dust,
swung with the baker's axe.

 

Let the water run gray
in the lumberjack's dough.
And take the ocean,
to paint me the sky.

Reviews

[Stephen Schmidt]

I loved how the beginning and end come together so similarly, it made for a great ending...The use of such ideas was very strange but it came together wonderfully. I didn't for me the first time though, but upon my third time reading it I found in it something great. I might have to read it a couple more times to find out what that something great was, but I will. In the mean time awesome write...

[Tonya (the Night Writer..]

Beautiful! I love to paint as well as write, oil painting and occasionally watercolors, so this really hit home. Sometimes you see a sky that seems like it would be in a painting, with perfect little brush strokes. Now i want to paint! LOL

[Gandré]

It is amazingly similar with my Colors - thought. How did I know?
This makes me feel ..truly like "fairytale of 1,000-and-one-night".
I think to have those wishes of having all the beauty on and under you above and below is just a moment of being captured by senses while breathing this wonderful world. Not only nicely done, but excellent and vivid. You never fail to amaze me.

[Lola Nation]

nice imagery, unfortunately did not meet without words guidelines.

[Steven Silvey]

I could swear that I've already read and reviewed this. I'm pretty sure I even voted for it in a contest. But anyway...

Great poem. I love how you put the food in there. Great imagery. Good rhyme and flow as well.

I agree with Kevin, the first stanza is especially good.

[Kevin Connolly]

This is a great poem, Michael. I really like the last three stanzas.

Paint me a canvas in the sky.
Let the ocean be the brush,
and the canyon,
the empty pail.

But this opening stanza is, in my opinion, an absolute classic.

[MandarinOranges]

Wow, your imagery here is amazing. Very beautiful.

[{Angel Redd}[Formerly A..]

This whole poem was extremely vivid; i especially loved:


To fill the ocean
with shards of fiery jade.

Great job.

[Luke Brooks]

Great mix of imagery. A mixture of food, art, and nature. Very soothing to read. Relaxing. Good job. Beautiful.

[Moonlight]

I have never tasted such yummy mixed metaphors before! *hug*

This was sweet (In all meanings of that word)

I liked it Mike�nice job, I could really see it!

Moonlight.