How Long?

This sis a short story I wrote one day. I thought it was ok. I was going to make it longer, but then I decided I kind of like it as an open ened ending.

“How Long?” I asked, the tears starting to well up in my eyes. “How long will it be!”

            I was shouting now, but not out of hate, out of love. I couldn’t understand it, couldn’t grasp it. How could the one I love just leave me? It didn’t male sense.

            “How long?” I whispered feeling defeated.

            “I don’t know baby.” He said.

            That was it. That was all he could give. Juts as quickly as it took him to say his last sentence, he was out the door.

            I stood in the entryway of my house for a log time staring at the door. Staring, and sobbing. He was gone and there was nothing I could do about it.

 

* * *

 

            I woke up the next morning with a start. The events of the night before seemed like a dream. It wasn’t until I rolled over in our bed and I felt the emptiness next to me, did it all become reality once again. The emptiness next to me opened up the emptiness inside of me, and the hysteria started again. I had to curl up into a ball, with my sheets wrapped around my shoulders, to keep from completely falling apart.

            “He’ll be back.” I told myself. “They always come home.”

            It took me a while before I was actually capable of standing up. Once I could, shuffled my way to the kitchen for some breakfast.

             I didn’t know what I wanted to eat. I didn’t want to eat. I felt too depressed to think about anything other than my love. My house felt too lonely without him. I needed to get out. But where? It took me a while, but I finally decided that I would go out for some coffee. My love did enjoy coffee.

            I kept myself together long enough to get into the car and drive down it the coffee house, our coffee house.

            “Don’t let hour mind go there.” I warned myself.

            I parked my car and got out. I walked into the coffee house, took one whiff of the strong bouquet of smells in the room, and started to cry. I must have looked like an idiot. I was just standing in the doorway and crying. What is wrong with me?

            “Do you need a tissue or something?” a soft male voice asked me.

            I stopped my crying for a few seconds. I stared through my watery eyes at the person who was talking to me. He had one of those faces that you felt like you knew, but in reality you have never met the person in your life. His eyes were soft, a golden brown, and was dressed for he “casual office” look.

            “Yes, thank you.” I whispered.

            He held out a tissue to me and I took it.

            “Do you want to talk about it? Or would you just like to stand in the doorway crying?” His voice was nice and soft as he spoke to me.

            This man was so nice, but how could I open up to a complete stranger? I didn’t know him and he didn’t know me. Yet, I wanted to open up to him.

            “If you don’t mind listening.” I said shyly

            “I offered didn’t I?”

            We walked over to the round, very stereotypical café looking tables. He sat on the one side of the table, and I took my place across from him.

            “I might as well introduce myself first.” He said interrupting the awkward silence. “My name is Demetry, Demetry Flynn.”

            He stretched his hand across the table and I shook it weakly.

            “I’m Alicia.” I whispered.

            “Alicia, well… what might be the problem today?” Demetry calmly spoke

            I took a big sigh and started in on my story. I told Demetry how my love, David, is in the army. I told him how he got called off to war. I told him how David left yesterday and how lonely I felt now. I told Demetry everything, and the whole time he sat there listening intently as is he really cared for me.

            When I was finally done telling my story I took another big sigh and sat back in my chair.

            “Thank you for listening.” I said. “It feels good to get all of that off of my chest. Thank you.”

            “Your welcome.” These were the first words Demetry had said the whole time, and they were exactly the ones I wanted to hear.

            “You know,” Demetry spoke breaking my thought, “I know where you are coming from. True, I was not in love with someone in the army, but I may as well have.”

            “What do you mean?”

            “I was in love with someone in much of the same way that you are now. I loved her so passionately that I thought I could conquer anything when she and I were together. Then one day, something very tragic happened. She was driving home on a snowy night, when she lost control of the car on a patch of black ice.” Demetry paused and took a pain filled breath. “She ran into a tree and was killed instantly.”  

            “I’m so sorry.”

            “You know… its ok. I’ve learned from it, and I’ve found its better to talk about your problems rather than keeping them all bundled up inside. That is why I am so happy you talked to me today.”

            A long silence dangled over us. Until finally I said, “Will I ever see you again?”

            I’m here every Saturday morning. Feel free to come find me. I would love to talk to you again.”

            “I think I will, thank you again.”

            Demetry stood up and left me staring at the wall. Truthfully, I did feel better after talking to him, and there was something about Demetry that left you craving more even after he was gone. I was going to have to come back every Saturday and see him. He was my lifeline now, and I don’t know if I could have lived without him today.

Author's Note

Let me know what you think of the dialoge

Reviews

[D.L. Simmons]

I think it's good overall but some parts are pretty stilted
"what might be the problem today?" for example...