Deadly urge

Deadly urge

His mom worked late nights
to keep food on the table
he raged fights
each time he was able

so much rage
bottled inside of him
his dad left at a young age
for this he despised him

thoughts of killing
filled his mind
thoughts so chilling
they'd rattle your spine

the urge takes over
he goes in a dark alley
someone's life is gonna be over
he waits proudly

he sees a woman walking by herself
he puts a bag over her head
then punches her in the mouth

he beats, and rapes her
all of the beating
misshapes her

he pulls out a pistol
and hits her over the head
puts the gun to her temple
Then shoots her dead

He pulls the bag off to see her face
but what he sees
blows him away

he puts the gun in his own mouth
what he did was wrong
but before he pulls the trigger he utters out
"Sorry mom"

Reviews

[Glen Yumang Manese]

MIke - A chiller of a write here...Good to read your work…Thanks for the invite to read your thoughts to paper at Writers Café...I'm back to work with copy writer and doing my best to write 1000 words a day...and a subject you do not get to choose...will be busy the next few months...so I will read all RR"s might just take a bit longer to get a review...hope you understand...plus promote my book: The Onyx - Vena Amoris...for late next month release…I have very little time on my hands…making the most of everyday and taking today to read as many as I can…keep writing and sharing your creative talent here and elsewhere…

[MikeV]

Thank you , my friend :)

[Glen Yumang Manese]

you're welcome...

[N15D]

Wow!!!This is brutal but a brilliant poem hands down.

[MikeV]

Thank you very much, much appreciated my friend :)

[TL Boehm]

a truly horrific write. Brutal. Visceral and all too real - when we - for whatever reason succumb to the rage, the darkness in a soul - we lose so much more than ourselves. This was so strongly written. Well done.

[MikeV]

Thank you very much :)

[TL Boehm]

it was a hard read - and that is the talent showing through - that you can get to the core of something and bring it down to that place where it writhes in the pit of the readers stomach. You made it real. That's talent.

[MikeV]

Thank you very much, your kind review made my day :)

[MsJewel]

I'm glad I'm reading this in the daylight..this is a seriously creepy poem. You did an amazing job describing a scene that is horrifying! You are very talented my friend!

:) Julie

[MikeV]

Thank you very much, I appreciate your kind words :)

[Skyangel_91]

Wow! I'll admit it gave me chills but it was such a wonderful read, though. I just can't imagine if this ever happened somewhere. With the world that it going on today wouldn't really be surprised. Like I said and I'll say it again, what an absolutely wonderful read.

[MikeV]

Thank you very much :) your kind words are much appreciated

[Barbara Walker]

This poem rattled my spine! It's puzzling how the same circumstance happening to two different individuals can cause one to try for a positive life and the other wants to destroy, kill. This is too real, I am sure this has happened sometime, somewhere...

[MikeV]

Thank you very much, my friend :) this really happened?

[Barbara Walker]

I'm just saying with all the violence and murder, it probably has happened! But I hope not!

[s y e]

This is very violent but so real. A really creepy, detailed write. Very, very realistic. Gave me the heeby jeebies, nice one.

[MikeV]

Thank you, my friend :) I'm glad you enjoyed

[Donald]

That is extremely violent, but it also very real. Looks like you captured the moment. Very well done.

[MikeV]

Thank you very much, much appreciated :)

[Frieda P]

OMG Mike, you keep doing me in...you better knock off MJ, geez, this is creepy, but also bat shyte crazy good....imagine?

[MikeV]

Thank you very much, my friend :)
I'm glad you enjoyed
lol the mj definitely takes me places :D

[Michael G. Smith]

It's a strange thing to even attempt reason to a murderous mind. Do they make distinctions between lives or only take a life if it stands between them and their twisted goals? The twist of this poem is what sells it but on the other hand I think one capable of cold blood murder would kill their own mother in the case I stated above an obstacle to a means.

[MikeV]

Thank you for the review! :) i think if its your first kill, and it turns out to be your mom would be devastating

[Michael G. Smith]

I'll never know, but I guess i'm unique in a way I hope others never have to be. I did find my mom dead and it was very devastating. I imagine taking any life would take away part of your soul if you happened to have one.