Her ghost

I wanted to follow a strict rhyme scheme and do each stanza with seventeen words. Just to see how it would come out

I hear your voice
it echoes through my mind
almost as if, its an echoe in time

i still hear your laughter
filling these empty walls
its asthough, you never left me at all

i see your ghost
dancing in the night
replaying like a film, thats forever looping in time

i can still feel your touch
so softly on my skin
it feels like you're alive again

i know you're gone
but its something i can't believe
because your ghost will always haunt me

Reviews

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i really like this, but the last stanza gets out of rhythm ....the poem before that flows really well (needs some editing) but well done with the 17 word, rhyme thing...

and it doesn't feel forced...the last line really throws the smoothness off though.

[MikeV]

I noficed that too, its because the last line of the last two verses are cut short
I've tried changing it but for my lil rhyme scheme/17 words
is so hard to work with
thank you for the review! :)

[Robin Thomas]

I really like this-- read manifestation by me same theme but prose poetry. Let me know what you think

[Lydia Shutter]

So very emotive, Mike. Not sure about whom you have written this poem, but it is obvious she meant a great deal to you. Heartfelt and touching. Lydi**

[MikeV]

Thank you so much Lydi! :) to be honest, i don't know where my thoughts come from
i just write the words as they hit me at any given moment
The whole poem actually started with the "replaying like a film, forever looping in time"
Then my mind worked around those words :p

[Frieda P]

Beautiful Mike, thoughts of my sister go through my mind as I read this, just simply lovely my friend.

[MikeV]

Thank you so much! :) I'm glad you liked it

[Frieda P]

My pleasure, so you do have a heart eh? ;-)

[MikeV]

Lol eh, its there
little jerk has been speaking up lately though :)

[Frieda P]

That's a good thang hon ;-)

[MikeV]

Well thank you very much! :)
Ill try and get him to speak up more

[Frieda P]

I like both sides of you, this one just spoke to me...

[MikeV]

Thank you, both sides of me like you too :)
I'm tryin to calm the incredible Hulk side of me down
turn into the grey Hulk i guess :p

[Frieda P]

Just let it all hang out Mike....that's when you write your best stuff. :-)

[MikeV]

You gave me an awesome idea! Thank you :)
I'm gonna write a poem that's happy and sad

[Frieda P]

Let me know.... :-)

[MikeV]

You got it :)

[cimmy wuv xxxooo]

I like this one, a lonely heart aching for a lost soul, still feeling there presents very interesting sweet write.
Loved the way it flowed very meaningful peace :)

[MikeV]

Thank you very much! :)

[cimmy wuv xxxooo]

your always welcome :)

[Michael G. Smith]

Makes me think of my mother.

[SyberRose]

You did a great job...seventeen words each stanza...nicely done Mike and a beautiful poem...:)

[MikeV]

Thank you Rose! :) i had done the strict rhyme scheme before
with 21 words per stanza in "forever young"
its a little nerve wrecking, i think that's the last of putting myself through tests lol

[MikeV]

Thank you Rose! :) i had done the strict rhyme scheme before
with 21 words per stanza in "forever young"
its a little nerve wrecking, i think that's the last of putting myself through tests lol

[MikeV]

Ahh Rose! I was missing two words
i fixed it though :)