I'm in the miata smoking. Something amazing happened today. My honey and I were talking, on the way back from Santa fe. The conversation turned to my cousin Angela. I told my honey that I didn't remember ever crying when my cousin died. My honey told me that I probably blocked it out. I continued talking about my cousin and I remembered her, so clearly. I began to cry. I realized I had blocked her out. Anyway, we get home and were watching, " long island medium." it's about a woman that speaks to the dead. It got me wonderring, how is it possible? I remember thinking if she can do it, so can I. I went to the kitchen and thought," why did I think of Angela?" a realization occured to me, today is the anniversary of her death. Did my subconscious remember this date , without my knowing? Was it a connection? I think it was my "cuz" telling me hi. She always called me that,"cuz." I miss you Angela, thank you for reminding me how much you mean to me. I love you soo much, I'm so sorry I blocked you out of my mind. Please forgive me for everything. Thank you. I remember you so much. I can't emphasize how much I miss you. Tears roll down my cheeks as I type this. I don't feel like I'm writing this for memory, I'm writing this for you. In other words, what I'm writing now isn't just an entry in my diary, it's a conversation with you. My tears continue to fall, I think of all the memories with you. I remember I'd call you like if I was the dude from the movie,"scream" I'd ask you," do you like scary movies." you'd laugh and giggle. I remember that, you were always smiling. In my head I see you in a black sangre joven shirt, a black scrunchy on each wrist. Long straight hair, and such a beautiful smile. I remember her sadness that our uncle tion couldn't baptize her. She's telling me to tell him about this and to tell him that she wanted him to baptize her. Lol she corrected me, she said " confirm her" not baptize. Am I imagining this? She's telling me it's really her. I can't stop crying.
![[send message]](https://www.writerscafe.org/images/mail.png){kind=small}
![[befriend]](https://www.writerscafe.org/images/friend.png){kind=small}
Share This
Email
Facebook
Twitter
Read Request
My Library
Flag Writing