Abandon (not complete yet)

   I can remember it like yesterday. I was just a pup. Me and my father were walking through the white snow. My father was the alfa wolf he was teaching me how to be the leader for when he passes away. I was always picked on by the rest of the pack because I was different. I am a black wolf with red eyes. 

    "Father?" I said. "Yes Striker, what is it." father replied. "Why am I so different from the others?" I asked. My father answered "Because you are a rare wolf, a type that comes around every 100 years and you will develop abilities that no other wolf will ever have, the others only pick on you because they are scared of what you will become." "What will I become father?" I asked."I don't know, it depends on the decisions you make my son." father replied.

    I never knew my mother. My father told me that she died shortly after giving birth to me and my brother Blaze he had a red coat and golden eyes. He has always been jealous because I've always been fathers favorite. Father told me that Blaze will have an ability also. He told me that Blaze will have the ability to control fire. Father told me that all wolves have an ability. My father was a grey wolf with green eyes. He had the ability to foresee things before they happen.

    "Blaze, why do you hate me?" I asked. "Because father loves you more than me, he doesn't pay any attention to me, he only pays attention to you training you to be the next leader!" he yelled. "Father loves us both, we are his pups and we are all he has since mom died." I said. "Don't bring mom into this, she has nothing to do with this!" he yelled. "Mother has everything to do with this, she was our mother and fathers wife... if she was here right now she would be angry with you for the way you’re treating me!" I yelled.

   As I was yelling at him about if mom was here, my eyes began to glow, black fire started to form around my paws, and black fiery wings formed on my back. When my father saw that I was using my powers he ran over and stood between me and Blaze. He didn’t want me and Blaze to get into a fight because he knew that I would win and that Blaze would be fatally wounded. My father walked me away not even saying a word to or even looking at Blaze. From then on Blaze would stay in the back of the pack away from me and father.

    “Father, what happened back there, why did I have black fire around my paws and black fiery wings on my back?” I asked. “That was one of your powers, you have the power of darkness.” father replied. “So I am to become evil.” I said. “No, like I said before, it is the decisions you make that determines your path.” Father said. ”Why must I have these powers, why can’t I have a different power so that I can be normal like the rest of the pack.” I said as I started to cry. “You know when your uncle and I were just pups ourselves we would argue about basically the same things that you and Blaze do, because I always thought that my ability to know things before they happen was no match for your uncles ability to control lightning, but when we got into a fight to see who’s better… I won, you want to know why, because I was able to see every attack he was going to make and dodge them, I didn’t even attack back, didn’t need to, I just kept dodging and he ended up tiring himself out.” father said. “Really, you beat uncle.” I said amazed. “Really. So you see son your abilities are what makes you special.” father said with a smile. 

   My father and I walked for a while and the rest of the pack followed not too far behind. I asked my father why he stopped Blaze and me from fighting. He told me that I would win. I then asked him why he didn’t want us to fight like uncle and he did. He told me that Blaze would have died, and he didn’t want to lose either one of us. He said that the power of my ability surpasses any other ability.

A month later…

    “Father, father!” I yelled. “Striker, what is wrong my son!?” father yelled as he ran over. “Nothing’s wrong.” “Then why did you yell?” “I wanted to tell you something.” I said while snickering a little. “I seriously thought you were in trouble, and what did you want to tell me.” “I’m gaining control over my powers.” “Watch father.” I formed a fireball and shot it at a tree and it turned to ash. Then I formed another fireball and shot it at another tree but it didn’t turn to ash, the spot where it hit turned to ash. “Good job, keep practicing and you’ll become better.” father said.

    I kept practicing like my father told me too. Two months later I started to practice with my wings. As I was practicing on flying Blaze came up to me and told me to watch my back and then just walked away. I just ignored him and kept on practicing. By the end of the month I could fly very well.

 

 

   "Father guess what." "What is it Striker?" "I can fly now, I even flew up into the clouds." "Striker, dont you ever fly again, suppose your wings fail and you fall and get injured or even die!" "Practicing with your flames of darkness is one thing but flying is a completely other thing." father said with a scared voice. "But father if I dont practice I won't get better at it, please I need to practice on my flying." "NO! It only takes one mistake and you could end up hurt or even worse, so no." father said with an angry yet concerned voice. "But..." "No but's dont fly again!"

   I told him that I wouldn't fly, so not to worry him. I secretly kept practicing my flying. One night when I was starting to doze off, I closed my eyes then went to sleep, I awoke a couple minutes later to my father yelling my name. I yelled back as I looked around and noticed that I wasn't with the rest of the pack any more. My father came running up with another wolf beside him. Father told me that the wolf with him saw me disapear in a burst of black flames. I was surprised, I have the ability to teleport. I ended up going to sleep that night.

   "Father don't you think it's great that i can teleport." I said excitedly. "Now I can go places without flying like you said." "No teleporting either, what if you teleport and don't come back." father said with a shaky voice. "But father, it's like you said, if I dont practice I won't get better, what if one day I really need to use it but can't since I didn't practice, so don't worry I'll be fine." "I only worry because I can't see your future." "Why father?" "I believe some sort of power is preventing me from seeing yours and your brothers future." my father told me. "But if you must practice you may, who knows you may be right, you may need to use them one day." "Thank you father, thank you." I said happily.

   I could tell that he was still worried about me, after all he is my father raising two sons alone. Later, when it was dark I found out what Blaze meant when he told me to watch my back. I was falling asleep when Blaze and a couple of other wolves came up to me and started to attack me. I was to frightened to do anything. Blaze begab to create a fire ball, telling me that once I'm out of the way he can assume the role of leader when father passes away instead of me. My father awoke to the comotion seeing that Blaze was forming the fire ball. Father started to run to protect me. He got in between me and Blaze as he blasted the fire ball, severely wounding father. Blaze was angry at what father did.

   "What the hell father! Why did you do that?!" Blaze yelled. "Because Striker is my son and I am not going to let you kill him." father said with agony in his voice. "I'm your son too." Blaze said angrily. "Not any more, no son of mine would treat family like that. You are here by banished from the pack." father saidin agony but with anger in his voice. "Well father I don't think you can make that choice any more, because the other wolves and I had a meeting and decided that you are no longer capable of making the right decisions any more. They have elected me as their new leader." Blaze said with a smirk on his face.

Reviews

[Gretchen Clarke]

Wow, this is awesome! Please continue this, it's really good!
You know where this is going? Favorites!

[*Evelen*]

Very good story. To help the reader be able to read, and fallow the story easier. You could separate who's talking. Like when Striker talks then father talks. Maybe give father a different paragraph to talk in. Like for ex;

"Father?" I said.
"Yes Striker, what is it." father replied.
"Why am I so different from the others?" I asked.
My father answered "Because you are a rare wolf, a type that comes around every 100 years and you will develop abilities that no other wolf will ever have, the others only pick on you because they are scared of what you will become."
"What will I become father?" I asked.
"I don't know, it depends on the decisions you make my son." father replied.
You could also try, and use different words for asked instead of repeating it.
But all in all it's a pretty good story. Very interesting. Keep writing. Hoped I helped a little. (I didn't mean to sound like a jerk! I just want to help, and I like this story a lot. if not I wouldn't have bothered you about it) =)

[StoryTailor]

Interesting. Fast paced, maybe you should slow it down a little? And a little more description on the scenery and characters would be nice too. Other then that it's perfectly okay except for the occasional typo. I like the plot so far, and I like how the characters are wolves. So... yes, good job with this. I await the next chapter with bated breath. *tilts head* or something like that anyway.

[Tofu]

One of the greatest chapters I have ever read. Write more of this story soon.