The Fuming Scepter

The story of a victory of mind over substance. Dedicated to those who have managed to stay smoke free to this day.

I had the wildest dream one night. It felt like it had gone on for half a decade.

I was on a throne, in an empty castle, in a kingdom where no one lived.

I had not a crown or any robes, but a scepter -- a brightly-colored, plastic scepter that emitted smoke from its hollow tip.

In my empty chambers in the castle, when I’d feel lost or sad, I would grab that scepter, and a grey ghost of fumes would come out of it, soothing me and thriving me to keep my kingdom alive.

But the kingdom was empty. It was only me, myself and I, in a gigantic castle, in an unpopulated land.

Somehow, for some reason, I felt attached to this boring and empty place. Normally, I enjoyed doing other things than roaming around in vast halls without even the slightest hint of furniture. But the ghost in the scepter would demand that I stay and take care of my kingdom.

I knew something was wrong, so I put the scepter away, and decided not to touch it again.

On the first day, I felt liberated, and slowly began to realize my ability, but I heard faint screams from far away. I paid no heed to this and moved on.

On the second day, the screams began to possess a little more volume. They were the wails of the scepter ghost, begging me to take hold of the plastic scepter again. I continued.

A week had passed. My vision became blurry; I could not make out the corners of the castle, even if I tried. The screams of the ghost became louder and louder. I had to endure to see if I could be taken somewhere less dull than this kingdom.

A whole month had passed.

Where am I? My vision is clear again, and the ghost had apparently screamed its lungs till its throat hurt. I’m… in a kitchen?

Oh, I know this place. I have not seen this place in years, but I recognize it. I lived here!

A woman came and hugged me so tightly… is this--this is my mother!

“We’re all so proud of you, my dear son.”

“Big brother,” said a little girl who I think is my little sister, “you’ve been nicotine free for 1 month! Yay!”

Nicotine… I can see clearly now; the fumes are gone.

My wallet is fat again. I no longer feel compelled to grab the scepter.

“Big bro, wanna play some videogames?”

I realize that I haven’t had fun outside of the castle for years…

I nod, then grab the joystick, and think to myself…

“Never again. This is life."

A decade later, the screams of the ghost of fume were nowhere to be heard.