Old Nurses

Arrgh!

They're old!

They try and look young

But they're wearing flowery scrubs

They act like pall bearers

They don't care

They don't even serve dribbles of decent drinks

What good are they?

What the hell's in may IV now?

Malted prune juice?

Left over coca mix?

I'll probably die here

Then my lawyer will get all the money from suing them all!

 

Where are they when I ring this buzzer?

They probably shut it off!

No, I hear it!

They're just ignoring me

It's their ears!

They shut off their hearing!

One of the few talents they really have

I'll fix them

I'll fix them good!

They'll be sorry when i get out of here

YOU hear me????????????????

 

D****t! Don't want a latte!

I want rum!

Now!

 

Old nurses bickering and slow

What good are YOU?

Sluggish and sloppy

Lazy and coarse

I usually get a better selection when i damn well pay for said company

 

Old nurse are brave

They don't know how close they are

To losing their useless jobs

I throw stones at YOU

Whip bedpans at YOU, even the plastic ones

Wash that YOU troll women!

 

D****t! Want rum now!

To hell with jello

Trying to trick me that these are jello shots

As if I don't know better

Wretchs, ever last one of YOU!

Waiting to die

And watching me do so under YOUR useless care

Get away from me

Get out of here!

  

Reviews

[Samuel Dickens]

I can see you're new to being hospitalized. I was like that once, but after three major surgeries, I learned to love the old nurses. Your poem is funny, though, and I grinned all the way through.