Anguish

Something from a few years ago

It's 5:05 am as I lay awake

Grey hints of dawn filter through the blinds

44 years ago, this time and date I emerged into this world

This from a grey cardboard sigh my father made for me

That sits in a draw of other lost and forgotten things.

 

Now 44 years later as I stand in their kitchen, mop in hand

Their friends flocking to their disaster

Take your accusatory eyes from me

No you did not know, No I don't need you to suggest

So you're shocked to see?

 

 

Before you open your mouth, and tell me of your dismay

 

Think of what I am feeling first

You mean well, but do not know what has passed here

Where were you yesterday?

Where were you last week?

Last month? Tomorrow?

 

Go back to your comfortable home

To your good life, and thank your god it's not you

Because I will be here tomorrow

Next week, next month,

 

I came into this world helpless

They set me on my feet to walk, then run

Now I will do for them now

I know my responsibility

It's 5:06 am

Author's Note

A bad place, in a bad time

Reviews

[Richard Man]

I have been there also.... but now it's better ... things change... I get older...
and now my son and daughters and grand children and friends are coming to celebrate my birthday. I hope your pain is now relieved.

[Michael of Gilead]

Thank you Richard, yes, things do change with time, yes it's much better now...

[Robin]

Michael , my brother ...

[Michael of Gilead]

Robin, unfortunately for you, I am aware you've been here and know only too well....I wish you a peaceful New Years, brother

[An owl on the moon]

So much life expressed through your vivid, stirring write. You transport us over time and emotional landscapes, and bring us into a world that is so poignant... so profound.

[Michael of Gilead]

Thank you very much Craig.

[An owl on the moon]

Appreciate your insightful reflections, my friend!

[Robbie~xoxo~]

This reads like a journal...expressed with an open heart... thoughts and questions raging, yet well consumed in life.

[Michael of Gilead]

Thank you my dear lady.

[Vertigoingnowhere]

this is really good, sir

[Michael of Gilead]

Thank you very much HighSchool.....but sir is not necessary ;)

[Vertigoingnowhere]

lol :)

[Ruth]

I love the time significence in this and the fact that the world has gone by whilst striving to survive, that is the impression I receive from this work...
Always good to read you dear friend xox

[Michael of Gilead]

Thank you so much Poppy, i always appreciate your comments :)

[Ruth]

Most welcome love xoxo

[The Random Writings Of ..]

WOW, Michael, I think you titled this correctly when you say Anguish. I really like how you open the piece with 5:05am and then close it with 5:06am. And all of that coming through your head in one minute.The 5th and 6th stanza's
"Where were you yesterday?
Where were you last week?
Last month? Tomorrow?"
and then
"Go back to your comfortable home
To your good life, and thank your god it's not you
Because I will be here tomorrow
Next week, next month"
I feel that there is a lot more going on here between the lines. The powerful wording of your title Anguish is most predominant here. Reading through this I feel an empty hole inside of me. Although you were set free to walk then run, you still feel this responsibility. There is so much heartbreak. And I feel so helpless for the darkness you write about. The is an incredible write Michael. It literally brought tears to my eyes. Thank you for sharing this place in your life.

[Michael of Gilead]

Thank you very much Kates, in my "writer" persona I am very pleased to have conveyed my emotional state to someone else clearly enough to have an effect on them...the between the lines issues were me dealing with an out of control situation, my marrage wa falling apart, my parents were unable to take care of themselves but too proud to ask for help before the s**t hit the fan, their friends had realized they were in deep trouble and had been in and out of the house, saying we should do this and that....and all i wanted was to have a clean kitchen floor, so i could have a tiny bit of control...the next morning i woke up on my birthday,saw the time....and it just kinda came out.

[The Random Writings Of Me..Kates]

Well I can understand the control part, and again the "anguish" you felt in this situation. wow - dealing with all of this in your life at once, oh I can see how it all just came out. Your emotional state came out very clear to me, and as I said I could feel this so strongly that I literally felt the darkness inside of me. I want to thank you again for letting me into this part of you. This is a powerful piece that hits the core of the heart.