Christmas Came

An actual Santa encounter of the weirdest kind.

Christmas Came With Such a Cheer

Christmas came with such a cheer,

And so I drank another beer.

Stumbling cross the bedroom floor,

I ran into the bathroom door.

And making no excuse for this

Relieved my bladder in stuporous bliss

Happy to be just where I am

Was proud to be, still able to stand

Then out on the ledge I heard such a thunder.

Causing my eyes to blink and wunder

What could this be; I could not see.

And even worse, I could no longer pee.

And then with a jingle and a mighty, mighty jangle

A bingle, a bangle, a tingle a tangle

"Ho, ho, ho", I heard from above

I tell you this, twas no mourning dove

Suddenly by the fireplace appeared

He and his funny, dirty, white beard.

Looking at me, he gave a mumble

As I tripped, and I fell,

To the hardwood, I tumbled

“Have you been a good boy?” He asked of me

But the words on my tongue began to flee

My vision suddenly began to blur.

As I mumbled, and stumbled the words,

" I’m not sure”

Then he looked at me and he gave a wink.

And turned and walked toward the chimney sweep

I could not manage, not a single peep.

Then he shouted out loud in a glorious fashion

“See ya next year", he said with such passion,

And off with you, to your bed you must go

For tomorrow will bring you a Christmas glow.”

Then, as swiftly as he had arrived

I saw,with my very own, weary eyes,

Reindeer dashing through winter skies.

I never imagined reindeer could fly.

So I rushed up the stairs,

Put my head on my pillow

Thinking to myself, “What a jolly old fellow.”

But I’m too old for such silly matter

All I wanted...was to empty my bladder.

Author's Note

I suppose there's still a child in us somewhere.

Reviews

[Jimmy Yetts]

There are, unfortunately, many men our age whose sole and fervent desire is to fully empty their bladders.
For them, this would make a great Christmas gift.
A fun read, M--one which I thoroughly enjoyed!