The Tale Of Mr. Potter's Wedding

A Very Short Book.

The Tale Mr. Potters Wedding

Episode One

Mr. Potter stood by the fireplace warming his backside when he burst into flames. His trousers had caught fire. To prevent  injury, he ripped them off and stomped out the flames. This, however, left him quite exposed from waist down.

As it so happened,  at that very moment, Mrs. Sherwood, a neighbor from next door, walked in. She had dropped by to borrow a cup of sugar. What she saw was more than she had come for. 

There stood Mr. Potter, nakedly dangling in all his lower parts.

She was about to scream when, through the back entrance, the neighbor’s dog, a Great Pyrenees named Hooper, charged her.  The beast knocked her to the ground and proceeded to rip and shred her clothing.  Poor Mrs. Sherwood was left as naked, if not more so, than Mr. Potter.

Hooper, the neighbor's dog, was a cloth eating dog who was very fond of cotton, of which the majority of Mrs. Sherwood’s cloths were made.

When he had finished, he turned, and departed.

 Mrs. Sherwood got herself to her feet, glared at the young Mr. Potter, and let out the shriek she had intended earlier.

Mr. Potter, however, calmly walked to the couch and retrieved a large quilt. He wrapped it around Mrs. Sherwood to hide what was exposed. 

 It was at this time that Sissy Livingstone dashed in from across the street. 

She had long admired Mr. Potter, and had wished someday he would call on her.

She was just barely twenty, of average height, petite, and extremely attractive, in a plain sort of way. Her sparkling blue eyes, sweet smile, and long flowing light brownish hair made her all the more appealing.

Mr. Potter, however, never seemed to notice much. He, as a crude businessman, was always about in his business. He was in the trade of importing and exporting various goods that came his way. Quite the entrepreneur he was. So much so. in fact, that he made quite a handsome living from it.

Sissy arrived  about the time Mr. Potter was wrapping the quilt around Mrs. Sherwood. What she saw, or imagined she saw, was not at all what it seemed. Here Mr. Potter and Mrs. Sherwood were wrapped about each other in a state of sheer nakedness.  What was the poor girl to think? For a moment she did nothing but stare in disbelief. 

But, upon coming to her senses, she turned and made a mad dash toward the front door, where she ran face to face into the massive bulk of Mr. Sherwood. He was not a thin man.

He had come to Potter's home to inform his wife of their need for at of bit of salt needed for the pork roast being prepared for supper.

 Having being knocked to the ground, Sissy quickly jumped to her feet, placed both hands on Mr. Sherwood’s chest, and shouted, “Sir, you mustn’t go in there.”

He glanced momentarily at the girl, then brushed her aside.  

 "What craziness was she up to?" he thought to himself.

Swinging open the door, he came upon the scene Sissy had tried to warn him against. Upon seeing the two in, what appeared to be not what it appeared to be, he began walking toward the two, seemingly in an act of aggression toward Mr. Potter, whose only crime, up to this point, was to accidentally catch himself on fire.

Mr. Sherwood had taken no more than five steps when Hooper, the neighbor’s dog, returned, knocking him to the floor and, like Mrs. Sherwood, shredded his clothes as well.  When Hooper was done, he darted for the nearest exit. One might think so much clothing would be bad for the dog, but he was large, and could eat a great deal.

Mr. Sherwood got to his feet and stood.  Being as bulky as he was, was not nearly as exposed as his wife. His upper half sagged well over his lower half, concealing most of what might be considered indecent in most all societies.

Hearing the commotion, Sissy dashed back in, thinking Mr. Sherwood was about to kill Mr. Potter. She would do what she could to stop it, if she could.

What she saw startled her twice as many times as what she witnessed beforehand. The three of them stood uncovered. It was more than her poor innocence could absorb. She darted straight out across the street to the home of her family.

The moments that followed were indeed awkward. 

Mr. Sherwood, his wife, and Mr. Potter, put together a fairly accurate account of events, after which, the three parted as friends. It was a laughable event, which they gladly put behind them.

Sissy never returned that day, and as far as what was known, never spoke to anyone of it.   

Author's Note

Episode One