Losing Me

They turned and walked slowly away.

Losing Me

“Mary Beth Carlson, is that you? Why, it seems like...”

“I know, years,” says Mary Beth before Bob can finish.

“Yes,” replies Bob with a smile, “how did you know?”

Mary Beth looks at him and gives a tiresome sigh,

“Because,” she says, “that's what you always say every time we meet. For heaven's sake Bob, we just talked an hour ago.”

“I don't think so. I would have remembered, I always remember.”

“I know,” says an exasperated Mary Beth, “You always say that too.”

“Well, its true.”

Mary Beth sits down beside him and holds both his hands in hers, she looks into his eyes and says,

“Bob, you've got to stop doing this. You don't have Alzheimer, or dementia, and you're not losing your mind. You're only twenty four years old, for heaven's sake. Look Bob...its starting to freak people out. Its time to stop.”

Bob looks at her dazed and confused,

“I don't know what you're talking about. Your the one freaking people out. You're freaking me out this very minute.”

“Fine,” she says. She is resigned to the fact Bob is not going to give up.

“I'll come back tomorrow. Maybe you'll feel better then.”

“Tomorrow, but that's Sunday. Mom will be here on Sunday.”

“No Bob, tomorrow is Wednesday. I always come on Wednesdays. Monday,Tuesday,Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, and Saturday, those are the days I come...remember? Besides, your mother is...well, no longer with us.”

Bob looks at her and shakes his head,

“But... what happened to Sunday? Where is Mom? Where did she go?”

Mary Beth places her right hand on his shoulder and stands up.

“We'll talk about this tomorrow, I promise.”

“OK. Mary Beth...tomorrow. When you come bring Mom with you. I haven't seen her in awhile, OK.”

Mary Beth pulls him toward her and gives him a hug,

 “I'll see you tomorrow.”

She turns and walks out of his room. Just before reaching the end of the hallway leading to an exit door, she breaks down and cries. She's confused and troubled by what's going on with her friend. She and Bob have been best friends since their childhood days. Seeing him this way tears at her heart. She had hoped they would get married someday, but Bob never asked. She thought he was about to once, but she was wrong. She tells herself he loves her, but he just hasn't figured it out yet. She figures he'll discover it eventually, if he ever gets over whatever it is he's suffering.

His mother Julia passed away last year. She suffered for a year  with Alzheimer’s disease. It was a very rapid progressing form. Bob didn't take it too well. He sat and held his mother's hand for hours at a time. It wasn't long before she no longer recognized him.

“Who are you?” she asked.

Bob looked at her with tears in his eyes and said, “I'm your son, Bob.”

“Bobby, no, you're not. Bobby is only a baby boy. You're somebody else.”

Bob turned and left the room. He sat in a chair just out in the hallway. He cupped his head in his hands and cried.

The nursing home walls are pale white with bland landscape pictures hanging on them. The place smells of urine. It always smells of urine. The facility is understaffed and the employees are over worked. It's impossible to keep up with all the patient's care. The smell of urine is only secondary in importance. After awhile you learn to deal with it.

A few months later his mother died. Bob went home and shut himself in his room. He didn't come out until the funeral.

The doctors say he suffers from some sort of post traumatic syndrome caused by watching his mother's progressive deterioration. Somehow he has transferred his mother's symptoms to himself. Mary Beth can't remember the exact name the doctors gave it, but it means Bob suffers from all the same things his mother did. The outcome is not certain. Bob's psychologist doesn't have a solution to his condition.

“All I can tell you Mary Beth is, if he doesn't snap out of this real soon, we could have a serious problem.”

“You mean he could die?” asks Mary Beth.

Leaning back in her chair with her arms crossed, the doctor replies, “It's possible. Not likely, mind you, but possible.”

Mary Beth rested her head on the doctors desk and muttered, “There has to be a way.”

A week later Bob is admitted to the same nursing care facility as his mother's.

Another Day

Mary Beth arrives at Bob's room at 9:00 P.M,  just like every other day, bringing one of Bob's favorite movies. Bob greets her as she enters the room.

“Is that you Mary Beth Carlson? I haven't seen you since forever.”

“Hi Bob,” replies Mary Beth. “I was just here yesterday...remember? Hey, I brought one of your favorite movies to watch. Whatta' you say; want to watch...yes?”

Mary Beth is nodding her head up and down trying to encourage a positive response from Bob.

“OK,” he says, waving his hands wildly, “what is it?”

“Independence Day, you know, aliens and all that stuff. You love this movie.”

“I do? But I don't think I've ever seen it.” Bob mutters slowly. He studies the cover trying to recollect his thoughts.

“Nope, don't remember.”

“Oh Bob,” Mary Beth sighs, “What am I going to do with you?”

She pops the movie in the DVD player and presses play. She puts some buttered popcorn in the microwave  and sets the timer for the appropriate time. The smell of pop corn catches the  attention of a young nurse. She begs for a handful.

“Whatcha' watchin'?” inquires the nurse.

“Independence  Day,” Bob exclaims. “It's my favorite...uh, I think.”

“Oh, mine too!” squeals the nurse in girlish fashion.

She can't be more than twenty years old. It's obvious to Mary Beth she has taken a liking to Bob.

“Well, why wouldn't she?” Mary Beth thinks to herself. “He's cute, tall, great build, and, right now, a little bit loopy, just like her. Together they could be the Fruit Loops, like the cereal..”

Mary Beth laughs at the thought. She looks at the adoring nurse and holds out her hand,

“I'm Mary Beth, in case you don't know. Bob and I are old buddies from way back.”

“Buddies...you mean you two are not...you know, a couple? Oh. I'm Lola, by the way.”

“No,” Mary Beth sighs. “It's not I haven't tried, its just...well, Bob has other plans.”

“He's not...you know...” asks the nurse.

“No, no, no,” Mary Beth replies. “He's dated a lot of girls, just not me. He thinks it's too weird dating your best friend. I tend to disagree.”

“Well, it does sorta' make sense though. I mean, dating pretty much wipes out the best friends part, and replaces it with boy friend and girlfriend status.”

“Just as I thought,” Mary Beth mumbles to herself. “They make the perfect Fruit Loop couple.”

“What?” Lola asks.

“Oh nothing,” Mary Beth smiles. “Just thinking out loud.”

Bob is fixated on the movie and is oblivious to the girl's conversation. He hears nothing they say. The girls could talk about him all day and he'd never know it.

“You know Lola,” Mary Beth states whimsically, “You two would make a cute couple.”

“Oh no, I couldn't, not with you and he...”

“Nah,” smirks Mary Beth. “He's not interested in me. He's all yours.”

“Really,” she says.

“Really,” remarks Mary Beth.

“Thanks.” she replies.

Lola shows up every day after that, including Sundays. The three of them get to know each other quite well. Bob, of course, has trouble remembering half of what goes on, but Mary Beth and Lola become great friends. 

Mary Beth sits at Bob's bedside. 

"You know," she thinks , “Lola isn't so bad, once you get to know her.”

Several Other Days

 Bob's situation  worsens as the weeks pass. It became harder and harder for Bob to recall Mary Beth's name. Lola isn't having any better luck. Their dates consist of, walking down the hallway to the entertainment room, watching TV, eating pop corn, and walking back. Lola loves being with him, and he loves being with her. Mary Beth is broken hearted. Lola has a way of reaching him.

 Each night Mary Beth went home and cried. Bob's personality changed. He is more childish than ever before. He and Lola, with her own childlike ways, seem to make a perfect match.

He asks her to marry him, and she says yes.

The wedding is held at the facilities chapel. Bob's father shows up for the first time. The place reminds him too much of his wife, and how she had suffered.

“Dad,” Bob shouts, “You made it.”

“Yeah,” he says nervously, “But I can't stay long. I have to get back to the office as soon as this is over.”

“Ah, Dad. Can't ya' at least have some cake after the wedding?”

His father looks at him and smiles, 

“Sure, I can stay for cake.”

“Oh Dad, I forgot,” he turns and gently grabs Lola by her sleeve. “This is Lola. She's going to marry me.”

His father reaches out to shake her hand, but she won't take it. Instead she throws both arms around his neck and hugs him tightly,

“Oh Mr. Olson, it's so nice to finally meet you.”

“Yes, well... Mary Beth says good things about you. And Bob seems to like you just fine. I guess you must be OK.”

“Yeah, I guess so.”

She looks up at Mr. Olson and asks,

“May I call you Dad?”

“Well, I don't know. How would your father feel about that?”

“He ran off, so he wouldn't care.”

“Oh. I'm sorry...I,I didn't know.”

“That's OK,” she giggles, “I'm used to it.”

She rubs her chin in deep thought and chirps out like a little bird.

“Hey Mr. Olson, maybe you could walk me down the isle.”

“Oh, I don't know. I don't think so, it's too, I don't know, awkward.”

“Oh come on Mr. Olson, it'll be fun.” begs Lola.

“Yeah, Dad,” says Bob, “It'll be just like Lola said...fun.”

“Alright,” agrees Mr. Olson. “I'll do it.”

The wedding goes off without a flaw, and Bob's father stays till the very end.

 Lola has a special way about her. She manages to add joy and brightness to every bodies day, including Bob's father. She is easy to like.

A Year Later

Bob died on Friday. Lola was holding his hand.

At the grave site Mary Beth stands next to her. Lola reaches out and takes her hand.

“I thought if I loved him enough he would get better.” she cries. “I guess it wasn't enough.”

“I know it hurts,” Mary Beth replies, “But he loved you. I could see it in his eyes every time you walked into the room. His face lit up like a bulb. I was always a little jealous about that.”

She reaches over the coffin and places a white rose on top.

“What will I do now?”

Mary Beth puts her arm around her and says,

“You keep on going. And for the short time you had together, you thank God. Time will take care of the rest.”

“You're such a good friend Mary Beth.”

Mr. Olson comes and stands next to Lola. She turns and hugs him.

“Oh Mr. Olson, I miss him.”

Mr. Olson hugs her back,

“Call me Dad, if you want.”

She buries her head in his chest and cries.

A light rain begins to fall as the crowd begins to disperse.

Lola is left standing alone. Rain drips from her nut brown hair.

“I love you Bobby.”

Mary Beth turns back and walks to her side. She takes her hand and tugs on it.

“It's time to go now Lola.”

They turn and walk slowly away.

Author's Note

My mother is 89 and suffers from dementia. It's sometimes hard to visit. I always take a deck of cards and we play gin rummy. She has trouble remembering all the rules, so we adjust them as we go. She always wins.

Reviews

[escherflight]

I got hooked on the narrative and wanted something good for Mary Beth, so your characterisation has to be good. The tenses are a bit muddled which disrupts the flow; it's predominantly in the past but you slip into present here and there. Hope your mother is still winning at rummy.

[Marie]

I thoroughly enjoyed this story, sad as it was. I hope all the best for your mother.