waves

waves

A Poem by Mikayeaye

our personal ocean
it consists of waves, high ones and low ones, even the ones that come crashing down onto the sand
during our existence we experience riptides
where we are pulled into distress without warning and sometimes no one's around to save us
some drown others float, in the end we'll always have our chance at drowning
turning your back to the unpredictable waves is very trusting of you
you don't know what's going to happen next,
if you're going to get pulled into the secluding giant body of water
or if you're going to stand your ground
most of the time our back is turned and that's freighting but also knowing what happens next,
that's equally terrifying.

© 2016 Mikayeaye


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"in the end we'll always have our chance at drowning" is one of my favorite lines from this poem -- i think it paints a somewhat prettier picture than saying "we'll all end up dying". one piece of advice i have is maybe paint more pictures instead of explaining? i still really enjoyed this though! :)

Posted 8 Years Ago


I like the idea behind this poem, the metaphor of waves in relation to our own lives. Maybe try keeping one noun (I'm not exactly sure what else to call it) throughout the entire poem. Like, you started with we then changed it to you, maybe see what would happen if you made it just one or the other.

Posted 8 Years Ago



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142 Views
2 Reviews
Added on September 2, 2016
Last Updated on September 2, 2016

Author

Mikayeaye
Mikayeaye

sac town bro



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