While you sleep

My Night

0 am �" Everything seems fine /

I hear nothing but the voice of mine

1 am �" I get anxious cause I hear voices even though no one´s here/

They´re slowly getting louder and just won´t disappear

2 am �" I can´t hear my own thoughts no more, all I hear are those horrible voices/

Taking control of my mind and body, feels like they´re taking all my choices

3 am �" looking into the mirror I can´t recognize myself no more- I say that can´t be me/

Where is the light in my eyes? Why are there so many scars? I just can´t believe what I see

4 am �" That´s way too much… I break down and cry while the voices won´t stop/

Telling me I´m weak, telling me to end the pain. I think I´m stronger- but I´m not

5 am �" I can´t stop shivering, I can´t stop crying - And the voices don´t stop trying/

I give up. My tears change from blue to red. I feel alive even though I´m dying

6 am �" I did it…  I once again broke my promise, but at least I made it through the night/

My head swims. The sun is rising. I finally can´t hear them anymore. But now I realize they were right

 

I´m Weak

 

 

And that’s what happens while you sleep…

 

 

Author's Note

what do you think about it?...

Reviews

[emmajoy]

Reads to be terrifying! Whether it's before sleep and your mind's in a bad state - OR you're actually in a deep restless sleep. Perhaps as a writer you're trying to create a horror fantasy? Really don't know, tis a bit of a muddle but has obvious potentiall. Think i'd cut cut out some of the over-used words such as 'the'. Plus. shorter lines create a sens of panic. Keep going, please.

[Light]

Got it thanks! I´ll try my best to realize it in my next one! (What i tried to create was somewhat of an uncomfortable/horrifying atmosphere similiar to the one you get when you just can´t get any sleep)

[EyeAmAlive]

Very deep and in some ways I could even relate to it! I don't hear voices but I understand what it feels like to feel as though one is pressured into being weak.

[Dara]

There is nothing worse than waking up on the hour and not be able to get rid of all the "voices in your heaf". I know people with schizophrenia and is it devastating. This is a very powerful write!

[Light]

Nice to see that you also like this one!
I´m glad that you think it´s powerful!!

[sette]

i like the many voices heard and it is beyond control it seems you are at the 3rd stage of sleep wherein dreams start to work.

[Light]

Thanks! Would you mind explaining what you mean with "wherein dreams start to work" ?

[sette]

in psychology the stage 3 in sleep or normally called the rem or rapid eye movement is where dreams start to be realized in the subconscious level as explained in freud's iceberg theory wherein we try to hide it the time we are conscious that is the reason why we dream.

[Light]

oh yeah, I´ve heard about that. But what I tried to describe wasn´t a dream

[sette]

you mean it was real?

[Light]

Yeah. It is about not being able to sleep cause your (bad) thoughts ("voices") are keeping your awake...

[sette]

got it.. thanks