She Burns

She cools the nerves that I burned

She makes it right when you feel blue

She makes of you a man, I learned,

And how to quite her, you’ve no clue! 

 

You light her, you put her on fire

And quietly she burns for you

It’s such a scene to admire

When, bit by bit, she falls for you

 

The way you squeeze her and smile

Seems like you’re making a breakthrough

You breathe her, consume her in a while

Then down you’ll throw her, won’t you?

 

Breathe in and out, once, twice, thrice

And when it’s all done, just start anew

Of that guilt-free pleasure you’ll know the price

Only when of your days are left few

 

Trust not a cigarette, O my friend!

She’s harms more than charms, if you knew!

She lives and dies under your command

Glorious! Yeah, that might be true!

But when to your life she puts an end,

The only one to blame would be you. 

Reviews

[redzone]

yes she is a vixen this one... glad I stopped and told her good bye, that was in '88, but funny every now and then she will call, after all these years she thinks I'm a fool.. oh well... Enjoyed how you wrote this, the images invoked and how she is hard not to inhale... ~~redzone

[Eve S.]

Now I’m feeling a bit guilty for not having replied to your amiable review earlier. Tis weird though, for I thought I did. I’m glad I could give you a little something to enjoy, and sorry if reading it made you feel a bit melancholic. :) I could never actually understand what is it that most men find so enticing about cigarettes, but I feel through your words that that was a no easy goodbye. Yet it’s all pretty wise. Thank you for the shared reminiscence.

[Nadia B.]

The sagacity with which you wrote this, the gender and personification of the cigarette, along with the comparison to a sick seductive mistress. You captivate the audience, you make them actually feel the similarities and the difference, your poem stands as a warning, but also at the significance of the moment when a person makes such a horrific mistake. You are right, cheaters/cigarettes do burn, and not with illusory pleasure but with a sulphuric downfall instead. Brilliantly written, keep writing!

[Eve S.]

It makes me smile to read all what you could see through my poem. Aren’t sharing with the others and creating images in their minds among the most beautiful things about writing? It is such a unique satisfaction that one gets from it! Thank you for your kind words and encouragement. I’ll keep it up! I can’t even help it.

[David Scott]

Fantastic write!
We should use beautiful art to convey message of truth and healthy temperance. This feel like a gentle version of exploring the seven deadly sins...
This poem could be true of many of our vices in life.
Well done!

[Eve S.]

I appreciate your vision of things. And yes, I do agree that art should be used for such a noble quest as that of reaching the Truth.
Thank you for passing by!

[Patricia]

Nicely done and very unique spin...I enjoyed this piece, thank you. :)

[Eve S.]

Thank you so much Patricia ! I'm glad you liked it.

[Patricia]

Your'e welcome :)