Boy friend (- BoyFriend)

Boyfriend

(BOYFRIEND)

 

Gabe flung his pencil down onto his table with more force than he really needed and as a result broke it. Cursing quietly, he pulled another one out and painstakingly continued his homework.

“Gabriel! Dinner!”

Grumbling as he stomped downstairs, he found a couple he did not know seated at the dining table along with his parents. He paused at the open doorway and frowned; his mother had not said anything about having guests over! His father caught his eye and gave a little shrug. Clearly he did not know about the new arrangements, either.

“Gabe, come here,” commanded his mother. “I want you to meet some people.”

His mother’s friend extended a hand toward him, a jovial smile on her face. “Hi Gabe, I’m Caroline,” she said. “And this is my husband Michael.” The man in question gave him a friendly nod.

“Erm… hello,” mumbled Gabe.

Caroline pursed her lips. “Tanya, should we sit down and eat now? The boy looks like he’s about to faint from hunger.”

“No he doesn't, but yes. We’ll eat now,” said Gabe’s mother, Tanya.

Halfway through the meal Michael’s mobile phone rang. The ringtone was unmistakeable; a Lady Gaga song. Blushing crimson, Michael rooted around for the device.

Watching in amusement, Caroline remarked, “Hayden must’ve changed the tune when you left it on the kitchen bench last night.”

“That little rascal,” muttered Michael, locating his phone and flipping it open. “Michael Lindsey here,” he answered. “Oh, it’s in the cabinet under the upstairs’ bathroom sink, next to the toilet detergent … why, did he get dirty again? … Yes, that’s the one. … Not until after bedtime. … No, tomorrow is a school day. Sorry, maybe on Saturday. … Okay. Bye.”

“What happened?” Caroline asked. “The call was obviously from someone that knows our house pretty well, hmm?”

“Yeah,” said Michael, closing his phone and putting it inside his pocket. “Apparently Hayden fell into another mud puddle while out riding his bike, and Misha wanted to know if her friend could come over.”

Gabe’s spoon, full of soup, paused in midair. Lindsey? Misha? he thought. Could it be…? “Who is Misha?”

“Our daughter,” replied Caroline. “Hayden’s her younger brother.”

“Is her name Michelle Lindsey?” Gabe inquired.

Michael’s eyebrows rose. “That’s right. How did you know? Now that I think about it, you two are the same age, aren’t you?”

Gabe returned his gaze to his bowl, avoiding the curious stares he was receiving from the adults. “We go to the same school,” he mumbled bashfully. He glanced up in time to see the women nudge each other and the men exchange meaningful looks.

“Ah, we see how it is,” said Caroline, winking at Tanya openly and thoroughly confusing the boy.

“What do you see?” he asked.

“You li�"”

“Carol, dear, try the fish pie. It’s delicious,” interrupted Michael. “It’s your favourite food.”

Caroline smiled. “And Misha’s, too,” she added, sliding a sly glance at Gabe.

The rest of the dinner passed without anything else being said involving Misha or Hayden Lindsey.

“Well, Tanya and Steve, thank you very much for inviting us over,” said Michael as he and his wife stood on the front porch. “In return, the three of you must come to our house sometime soon. It’s Thursday today, so how about tomorrow?”

“We�"” Steve began to say.

“�"will be there, of course!” said Tanya, finishing his sentence and changing it from an answer most likely not in the affirmative. Gabe smirked at his father.

“Great. Six okay for you guys?” Caroline said. Tanya nodded enthusiastically and soon the Lindseys left.

“That was interesting,” remarked Steve.

+++

Gabe strolled outside at lunch with his friend of Irish descent, William. Clouds were starting to form in the sky.

“It going to rain soon,” said William, looking up with his green eyes.

“How can you tell?”

William gave him a ‘don’t-you-know-anything?’ look. “I lived in New Zealand’s capital before I came here to Australia last year,” he said frankly. “It’s cloudy there for most of the time. When you’ve lived in windy Wellington for over half of your life, you just know when there’s rain coming.”

“I forgot about that you moved out of Dublin when you were little,” admitted Gabe somewhat sheepishly. “Sorry.”

“It’s nothing to be sorry about,” William told him. Then he pointed at two figures not too far away. “Hey, Gabe. Isn’t that the girl you’ve been pining over since school started back in January?”

Gabe became attentive immediately. “Really? Where! And I haven’t been pining over her for five months, William,” he added reproachfully. “I just… she’s…”

“The girl you’re pining over,” said William bluntly.

Unable to find another answer, Gabe ducked his head and nodded.

William clapped Gabe on the shoulder. “Then go get her, man!” he said. “Before someone else takes her away first.”

For a while the two friends watched Misha and Abigail from afar. Finally Gabe shook his head and began walking away, William following him hurriedly.

“Not yet,” Gabe said as an explanation to William. “I will, but… not yet. Later.”

William stepped in front of him, stopping Gabe from going forward. “Before next Friday, okay? That’ll give you a full week from now.”

+++

“Gabriel! For the last time, we. Are. Leaving!”

“I’m coming, I’m coming!” Gabe yelled in response as he half-ran down the stairs.

His parents stood in the hallway. Tanya had her hands on her hips and she was glaring at Gabe. “Honestly, what took you so long? We’ll be late now, thanks to your need to go through your wardrobe a trillion times before you decided on what to wear!”

“I’m sorry,” muttered Gabe, tugging his sneakers on.

“Sorry is not good enough, young man.” Tanya flounced out of the house toward the car, leaving Steve to give Gabe a small grin that said, ‘What did you expect?’

As Steve drove their way to the Lindseys’ place, Gabe mentally fretted over whether or not his appearance was good enough in Misha’s eyes. Was his T-shirt not a colour that she liked? Would she hate the chequered pattern on his shorts? Was his hair sticking up in random spots? Quickly Gabe smoothed a hand over the top of his head to make sure his hair was good.

“�"be! Gabe. We’re here,” said Tanya in annoyance. His parents were already standing outside beside the car.

Stumbling out of the vehicle, Gabe looked up at the petite house in front of them. It had a vintage black-and-white look about it; the door was black, the rest of the building was white, and the large windows had cloth curtains and little window-porches with small potted flowers on them. One of the window-porches upstairs had a miniature garden on it. A miniature, untamed garden.

Tanya was already knocking on the door. Steve and Gabe hurried up the steps and stood slightly behind her as a young boy opened the door.

“Who’re you?” he demanded, his pale-blond hair flopped about messily on his head. Gabe recognised the boy’s dark-blue eyes as the same as Misha’s.

“I’m Tanya, your mum’s friend.”

“She didn't say we were going to have people over tonight,” the boy said.

Tanya blinked, surprised. “She didn't?”

“No.”

“Hayden!” a female voice shouted. “Come here, help me with this round! Mario's bike isn’t functioning properly.”

“Just a mo’, we have strangers here!” Hayden hollered over his shoulder. After giving them a good long squint, he added, “They look like pedophiles. Should I spray them with the fire extinguisher?”

“Pedophilic strangers?” the female voice called back, sounding highly amused. “All right.”

Hayden reached for something behind the door; a moment later he was holding a large red can in Gabe and his parents’ faces. “I’m counting to three. Leave or I’ll spray,” he threatened. “One… two… th�"”

“Wait! Denny! Don’t do anything!” the female voice shrieked. The sound of a door upstairs being slammed open reached their ears and a few seconds passed before a yellow blur swooped around Hayden and yanked the fire extinguisher out of his hands.

“Hey!” he complained.

The blur came to a full stop with its back to the guests and said to Hayden, “No more spraying people you don’t know with fire extinguishers for you, little brother.”

“But Misha!”

“But nothing,” Misha said firmly. “And for your info, Mum did invite them. I forgot about that when I was bouncing across mushrooms…” Putting the red cylinder back where it should be, Misha turned to face the three still on the steps with an apologetic smile. “I’m so sorry for Hayden’s behaviour just then. He’s only eight, and he hasn't grown up yet.” She gave a quick yank on Hayden’s ear and the boy muttered an apology before wriggling out of her grasp and darting away into the house.

Misha extended a hand toward Tanya. “Hi, I’m Misha Lindsey. Once again, sorry about my brother Hayden just then, he’s too childish…”

Tanya gripped Misha’s hand and pumped it enthusiastically. “Oh, that’s fine!” she gushed. “You’re such a pretty girl! Wow, your hair is so nice, and your eyes too! I can see why a certain someone likes you.”

Bemused, Misha uttered, “Eh?”

“You don’t know?” said Tanya, evidently amazed. “Whoa. Then he hasn't been making his moves on you clear, now has he?”

“Who?”

“Oh, nothing,” said Tanya, winking at Gabe surreptitiously.

Following Tanya’s line of gaze, Misha’s eyes landed on Gabe, who was attempting�"and failing�"to hide behind his father. “Oh, Gabe! Hello!” she greeted, her eyes lighting up.

“Hello,” Gabe returned timidly.

“We weren’t expecting you so early,” Misha explained to Gabe’s parents. “Hayden said that he would do the cooking tonight and he wrote down a complicated list of ingredients that he needed to use, so Mum and Dad are out shopping for them right now. Come inside, and would you like anything to drink? Tea? Coffee? Juice?”

“No thank you,” Tanya declined as they walked into the lounge, where the large LCD television was playing some sort of commercial to do with rugs cleaners.

Shifting from foot to foot, Misha backed out the room with a polite smile. “I’ll be right back,” she murmured.

The moment Misha closed the door behind her, Tanya pounced on Gabe. “My boy! She’s a keeper, is that one! Do not lose her under any circumstance, understand? Even if you have to chase her all over the country. She’s my future daughter-in-law, okay? I’ll be very disappointed in you if you don’t win her over.” Slightly terrified by his mother’s threatening glare to reinforce her last sentence, Gabe nodded jerkily.

The door creaked open and a head with short pale-blond hair poked around it. “Where’s Misha?” Hayden demanded.

“I don’t know,” Gabe replied, as his parents’ attentions were glued to the news on TV. “She left about five minutes ago…”

“Okay,” said Hayden, starting to close the door.

“Wait!” called Gabe.

“What?”

“Can I come with you? It’s kind of boring sitting here because I have nothing to do.” Gabe tried to keep the whine out of his voice and succeeded partially. Debating silently with himself for a moment, Hayden nodded and eased the door open wider.

“You have a nice house,” Gabe commented as they strolled down the hallway.

“It’s not mine,” Hayden said. “I’m not old enough to have my own house.”

“It’s a figure of speech.”

Hayden rolled his eyes. “Whatever, Gabriella.”

“Watch it, kid�"”

“Hey, Misha!” Hayden exclaimed as he strode into the kitchen. “What’re you doing there?”

“Making tea. What else does it look like?” Misha replied, sounding irritated as she bent over a pot on the kitchen bench-top.

“Meh. Where did you put the cookies? I’m sure Gabriella would want to eat one.”

“Gabriella?” repeated Misha, turning around and sweeping her hair out of her eyes. “Oh, Gabe. Hayden, it’s not nice to call a guy by a girl’s name. Apologise, now,” she said firmly, giving Hayden a glare. Her brother stared down at the ground and muttered a quick ‘sorry’ then fled.

“I should’ve been nicer about scolding him in front of a stranger,” Misha mused ruefully.

“What do you mean?”

Looking up at Gabe, she offered a tiny smile before bending over her tea again. “I’m the only one of this family he really listens to,” she explained as she squeezed a freshly cut lemon and added a few drops of the juice into the teapot. “I mean, sure, he does what Mum and Dad tells him to, but if it was me telling him to do something then he would do it without any fuss at all.” A silly grin appeared on her face. “Why am I telling this to someone I barely know?”

Gabe leaned against the fridge. “Don't you feel better, though, letting it all out? Even if it is to someone you barely know.”

“Yeah,” sighed Misha. “All right, tea’s finished. Help me and bring the cookies, will you? They’re in the cupboard over in the corner.” Dutifully Gabe opened said cupboard and pulled out a still-warm platter, carrying it and following Misha back to the lounge. He found himself being mesmerised by Misha’s bouncy hair and then mentally slapped himself.

+++

“Kiddos! We’re home!”

“That’ll be my parents,” said Misha, standing up and moving toward the door. Gabe’s family stood as well and a moment later Caroline and Michael entered, holding several bulging plastic bags.

“You’re already here?” Caroline exclaimed. “Misha, go get Hayden. He needs to start cooking right now if we want to eat at all today.”

An hour later the group were seated at the dining table and eating a meal that could qualify to be in a five-star hotel.

“Wow, Hayden, you’re a really good cook,” said Tanya. “How old are you?”

“Eight,” muttered Hayden, stabbing his plate savagely with his fork.

Misha sighed. “Hey Denny, I’m sorry, okay? Don't be mad anymore.”

A minute of silence passed.

“Whatever,” Hayden grumbled, but Misha did not miss his lips twitching upward into a smirk slightly.

“What’re you sorry for, Misha?” asked Caroline.

“I…”

“Nothing,” interjected Hayden.

“So there are only you and Misha as the kids in your family?” said Steve, breaking the second silence.

“Actually�"” Misha began.

“That’s right,” Hayden cut in. “There’s only Michelle Lindsey and Hayden Lindsey here.” Misha looked down at her lap, a frown on her brow.

“What, so me and your mum don’t exist?” Michael joked.

“You guys are old people,” sniffed Hayden snootily.

And so the dinner passed like that. Bantering comments being thrown from both families�"excluding Misha, who had not spoken once since Hayden declared that he did not have any other siblings apart from Misha.

“Thanks for having us over,” Steve said while his wife put her shoes on. “That was some delicious food, Hayden. Are you doing to be a chef when you grow up?”

“In Gordon Ramsay’s kitchen,” answered Hayden. Steve smiled approvingly and gave Hayden’s hair a good muss.

“So… I’ll see you at school on Monday?” said Gabe, standing beside the car with Misha.

“Yeah,” she murmured. Gabe wondered at her lethargy but coined it as nothing. She’s probably on her period or something, he thought, then quickly swatted that idea away.

He could not help asking, though. “You okay?”

“Yeah,” she murmured again.

Uncertain, Gabe did the only thing he thought would help her. It was also the only thing on his mind.

He gave her a tight hug and patted her back lightly.

“Please cheer up,” he whispered in her ear. “I’m used to seeing your happiness. So… come on, smile for me.” Unwittingly the corners of Misha’s mouth tipped upward at his plea, and Gabe savoured the warmth of having her in his arms. She fitted surprisingly well in his embrace; she was not that much shorter than him.

On Monday, Gabe met up with William at lunch and wandered around the school, Gabe recounting his Friday night to William.

“We were invited to her house for dinner. Then we left. The end.”

“Oh, so no more action than that?” William scoffed. “That’s kind of slack.”

“Yeah, well, what did you expect?” Gabe muttered irritably. “It wasn't like it was a date or anything.”

“But you wouldn't have minded if it was, would you?”

The goofy smile spreading across Gabe’s face was a good enough answer.

“Here she comes now with her friend,” William said sharply. “Now, Gabriel Anderson, do your best to woo her over.”

“Don’t use words like ‘woo’, it isn’t like you and it freaks me out.”

William flapped a hand at Gabe. “That is not important.”

Gabe inhaled deeply and squared his shoulders. Then he turned at the same time Misha did. They gazed at each other from opposite ends of the field.

She raised her fingers to her lips…

… And blew him a kiss. Then she hurriedly turned away again.

Gabe’s eyes widened, his heartbeat increasing to double its normal speed. “Whoa,” he exclaimed, staring wildly at William. “Did you see that? Did you see that?”

“Yeah, she blew me a kiss because she loves me,” his friend replied nonchalantly.

Gabe froze. “Wh�"what?”

“We were engaged five years ago after I caught her in a bathtub naked because we’re desperately in love with each other. I’m kidding,” William added hastily when he caught Gabe’s glare of betrayal. “I would never do that to you, Gabe, don’t worry! I’m not a backstabbing guy.”

Visibly relaxing, Gabe began breathing normally again. “You scared me for a minute there,” he said.

“Nah, as pretty as she is… she’s just not my type, you know?” said William. “I think I might like her friend more, though.”

“Go for it,” Gabe told him with all his heart, happy that Misha being in love with William was only a joke.

“I think I will. After you and Misha are steady together.”

+++

“How was that guy able to put his number in my phone without me noticing?”

“But you’re not really angry about it, are you?”

Misha smiled wryly. “No, I’m not.” She looked back at the screen of her phone, where it was showing a contact with the name ‘Gabe’. “He must’ve done it when he was hugging me,” she muttered absently.

Abigail choked on her slushy. “What? He hugged you? He hugged you?” she squeaked.

“Yeah…”

“Omigosh!” squealed Abigail, jumping up and down and spilling the rest of her drink all over the ground and causing Misha to jump back to avoid the liquid. “He hugged you!” she repeated.

“I get the point,” said Misha dryly.

“He needs to hurry up. This is getting slow,” complained Abigail as she downed what remained of her Slurpee.

“What does he need to hurry up with?”

Abigail waved her straw in Misha’s direction. “Asking you out, of course.”

It was Misha’s turn to choke on her strawberry milkshake. “He is not going to ask me out,” she stated firmly when she could speak.

“Who’re you trying to convince? I bet you that you’ll become his girlfriend by Thursday. If you do then you’re going to eat a chocolate mousse with me as witness.”

“That again?”

“Yes, that again. Deal?”

“Fine.” Misha shook the hand that Abigail stuck out.

“You know, I shouldn’t have dared you to blow him a kiss,” Abigail commented thoughtfully as they headed back to class. “That’ll give him false hope, and we don’t want that, now do we?”

+++

Nothing happened for the rest of the day.

Nor the next.

Nor the next.

Thursday rolled around, cloudy and slightly cold. Misha bade goodbye to Hayden when she dropped him off at his school and proceeded on to cross the street to her own high school, glancing up at the sky to check it was not about to rain before she could get under shelter. For the twenty-fifth time that morning she wished she had remembered to take her umbrella, which was under the shoe rack at home during this moment.

“I told you, he isn’t going to ask me out,” Misha said to Abigail, somewhat dejectedly, while in their last class�"Mathematics�"and their teacher was helping a classmate with an equation.

“Just you watch,” Abigail said confidently.

Little did they know that Gabe and William were having a similar conversation in their Science class.

“My mum says I have to go straight home today,” Abigail informed Misha while they walked toward the school gate. Abigail still had not given up hope that today was the day Misha would become Gabe’s girlfriend.

“Why?”

“The grandparents are coming over,” said Abigail glumly.

“That’s not too bad,” Misha said. “I love having my grandparents over.”

“Well, that’s yours. It’s not like you don’t know mine are cuckoo.”

“But�"”

“Wah! Misha, Misha! There, isn’t that… him?”

Misha looked in the direction Abigail was gesturing toward. “Yeah, that’s him. So what?”

“So what!” Abigail shrieked. “How did you become my friend when you’re so dense?”

“By some strange coincidence that the English teacher made us partner up on our first day of school?”

“That was a rhetorical question, idiot. Oh! He’s coming here. Handle this well and make me proud.”

“Hey, wait�"” Misha began, turning around. There was no-one behind her.

“Wuss,” she growled under her breath.

“Who, me?”

“Hello, Gabe. No, not you. Abigail.”

“That’s good to hear,” said the boy. “Can I ask you something?”

“Mhm. Depends. Are you a stalker?”

“No…?”

“Then go ahead.”

Gabe fiddled with the hem of his shirt and Misha had a sudden sense of déjà vu, where she was transported back to the day they had met.

“Will you be my girlfriend?” he blurted, sounding louder than he intended.

The milling students around them paused in whatever they were doing and turned toward the duo in unison. Then the whispers began:

“Did you hear…?”

“He asked her out…!”

“Oh fudge-cakes, isn’t that…”

“Gabriel Anderson…”

“The cutest guy in this school…”

“Not just this school, the entire state…”

“Entire country, not just state…”

“That’s Michelle Lindsey, isn’t it…”

“I heard every guy in the school tried to hit on her when she was in primary school…”

“Is she going to accept?” an obnoxious voice, overly-familiar to Misha, rose out over the crowd.

“Uh…” Misha murmured, casting a glare toward the general direction of where Abigail was.

Gabe scratched his head. “Yeah. Um.”

“I…”

“It’s okay if you, erm, don’t want to say yes.” A blush appeared on both sides’ cheeks.

Misha mumbled something inaudible. Gabe, being as nervous as he was, naturally assumed it was a negative response. This, in turn, made his mood turn depressed. “Uh… sorry,” he said.

Startled, Misha glanced up into his eyes. “What for?”

“You obviously don’t like me. That’s okay. Yeah. Sorry for wasting your time.”

The other students drew in a collective gasp.

Shaking her head frantically, Misha cried, “No! What’re you talking about? You didn’t waste my time, Gabe. I… I said yes,” she whispered shyly.

Gabe blinked. William took this as an excellent time to dart out of the crowd and punch his friend in the shoulder, successfully bringing Gabe out of his shock.

“I’m your boyfriend?” Gabe said, seemingly to repeat it to himself.

Instead of replying, Misha ducked her head and gave a minuscule nod.

Gabe felt like he was floating. “Yes!” he whooped, bounding forward and throwing his arms around his new girlfriend and clasped her tightly before letting go.

“So, you’re my boyfriend now?” Misha confirmed.

“Yeah, I guess.”

A scream pierced the air and the trio in the centre of the attention spot turned to see Abigail running to Misha. “Well done, Michelle! This is good, this is extra good! You’ve made me so proud, my little student.”

“Since when was I your student?” Misha grumbled as she retracted herself from Abigail’s suffocating grip. The other students were leaving, now that the exciting part was over.

“Congrats, Gabriel,” said William, slapping Gabe on the back. “You did it before the deadline, hey?”

“Deadline! That reminds me!” shouted Abigail. She dug around in her bag for a moment before pulling out Misha’s worst nightmare. “You said you’d eat this if it happened,” she said. “So eat it now, in front of me.”

Misha eyed it warily, suddenly not-so-happy. “Do I have to?”

“Yes, you do. Now eat it.”

Sighing, Misha reached out and plucked the container of chocolate mousse from Abigail’s hand. Ripping the lid off of it, she stuck the spoon in and somehow consumed the dessert within ten seconds. Clapping and laughing, Abigail gave a nod of approval and left to go home with a bounce to her step.

“I’ve got to go too,” said William. “Nice to finally meet you, Misha,” he added.

“Now what?” the new couple said in unison.

“How about you come over to my house to meet my parents sometime?” suggested Misha. “Not that you really need to, since you already know each other, but just to make it formal and all.”

Gabe shrugged. “Sure, why not?”

A smile broke out across Misha’s face. “This is like a fairytale story come true for me,” she confessed. “It’s fiction.”

“But I’m real,” Gabe argued.

“True, true. It’s my birthday this Saturday, so why don’t we make our relationship official to my parents then?”

“Sounds good.”

“Okay. That’s settled. See you tomorrow.” Misha started skipping away.

“Wait, what?”

She paused and looked back at him over her shoulder. “I’m going home, boyfriend of mine. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Oh,” said Gabe. “Yeah. See you tomorrow, girlfriend of mine.” She gave him another smile and then he was alone in the school courtyard.

I’m someone’s boyfriend now, he thought.

That one single word echoed in his mind.

Boyfriend.

Author's Note

The second chapter!! (-tosses confetti.-) I've just finished the third chapter which took me about a month to write... it's 4,197 words. I shall upload that when I have made reasonable headway with the fourth chapter which I'll start very soon.

Any strangeness to this chapter? Parts that did not make sense? Info I hinted at but forgot about?

Reviews

[~By R.N.]

For me, I felt as though the last scene should have been saved for later in the book. The relationship between the two is going awfully quick, which is making it a boring read. The growth of a relationship is usually what makes a romance story so lovable-how everything starts. You could make this a scene where Gabe asks Misha out and still have Abigail assume that Gabe will make her his girlfriend. Like, "So, he asked you out. That doesn't mean you're not going to be his girlfriend, Misha."

Get my point? We barely know the two characters, so how are we supposed to root for their relationship? Also, Tanya seems too happy about the idea of the two's relationship. She appears like a hyped up cheerleader at a pointless pep rally. You should tone her down a bit and make her more like, "This will be good for you, Gabe." Or probably have some type of dark background that Gabe had with previous relationship that'll be Tanya's motive as to why she wants him dating Misha.

In positive note, I'm glad to get a view of Gabe and his friend William. It shows more about this shy fellow. It'll be good to figure out why Gabe likes Misha-probably in later chapters-and as to how William and Abigail's relationship will be like later. The writing is overall well and I feel as though the dialogue needs some work. It feels too formal-especially during the dinner when the adults are talking.

Still, an interesting concept and really hope you can improve on your writings. :)
Best of luck!

[Priya]

I'll have to agree with the review below. Your first chapter enlivened expectations to such a high degree that this chapter fell short. The relationship seems too rushed. And using such broad labels as "boyfriend" and "girlfriend" so soon in this story lends it an air of implausibility. But the writing style was of good quality. Keep trying. Your first chapter showed that you have the talent to keep this story interesting!