What Is Love Anyway?

Worry built up on pain,

This is what they say,

But what is love anyway?

Some form of hurt or pleasure to feel?

Takes your mind off of things,

Your life it steals.

 

Love is not a feeling,

But a conclusion of life,

Something that manipulates something else inside.

How our breathing turns uneven,

Heart beat overflows to singing,

Can’t believe how close, the dreaming continues…

 

This is just our own imaginations,

Making us feel too high for complications’.

Bringing us back down to the point,

Love is more than just heartfelt joy.

It’s that meaning behind the person,

Luring us in to learn more about them.

It’s just the feeling that makes the difference,

Deludes ourselves into thinking big news,

But the heart is just a toy,

Don’t spend it all on one boy.

Reviews

[Y.Badr El Din]

My litlle Gizem, words of deep meaning! you're creative, yea there need abit of revision but CUUT! Your work is good!! :D SAKKI, UR MIND IS NOT A FISH! LOL

[Midnight_Mask]

lol. yh, I understand about the beginning, but in other points of views, it can be considered as it should be unsettling.
But I know that "Making us feel too high for complications’." doesnt make sense, =/ I just wanted something to rhyme and that far into a poem, its hard to do @.@

Thxy for the review S. Kimball =] it was very constructive and gave me a lot to think about, thxy very much ^^

[S. Kimball]

This is pretty decent, but it could use some revision.

Your first stanza gets things off to a poor start.
"Some form of hurt or pleasure to feel?

Takes your mind off of things,

Your life it steals."

The last line feels very forced. I recognize you were trying to keep your rhyme scheme consistent, but the end result wasn't very good. It jarred me out of the rhythm before I was able to settle in at all.

The wording wasn't very powerful, except in the second stanza, which was the best in this piece. I really enjoyed the second stanza.

The last stanza was redeeming as well, and the ending was pretty catchy. "But the heart is just a toy, don't spend it all on one boy" is facebook status material. You totally disregarded your rhyme scheme and prose, though, which I didn't like.

"Making us feel too high for complications’" is incorrect, though. The apostrophe is unnecessary.