Thought of Love

I can't seem to overcome this feeling,

It's pulled me into the crush,

He stands over me so luring,

Here comes the crunch.

I never knew why it hurt so much,

To overcome this thought of love.

It hit me like a strike to the gut,

I double over as I caught,

As I look up he catches my eye,

For nights I've been dreaming of this guy.

His killer looks and his breath taking eyes,

The way he walks and his alluring smile,

One day I'll know the truth,

Will he feel the same as I do?

I never knew why I ached so much,

To overcome the thought not to touch.

He's so close, but yet so far,

I count my breaths to try stay calm,

I wear my heart on my sleeve,

Afraid it'll get cut, stained or fray.

The words are coming to his lips,

They begin to part and speak,

Oh how close we are, I want to kiss,

My heart sings in bliss.

But they aren't what I wanted to hear,

My heart sinks and out breaks a tear,

Hurt I rest my head in my hands,

He just walks away, no-one understands.

Reviews

[MiidniightSoul]

A very beautiful and powerful poem. I like it ^.^

[Arganova]

It's a good piece- a familiar situation to many, and the rhythm in consistent enough to pull all the stanzas together. The first three stanzas are very strong- good, flowing stanzas, but later in the piece you start to lean back on cliches and tired phrases, particularly in the 4th stanza. If I can make one suggestion for this piece, it is this- In the first line of the 4th stanza, don't tell us he has killer looks, show us. All in all, this is however is a good piece. Keep it up!

[Y.Badr El Din]

love the last stanza