Dear Diary

This is a satire on popular girls and how they treat girls who don't have the same views, attitudes, or interests as her. Please give feedback by tomorrow on what you believeI could do better

March 16^th, 2012

Dear Diary,

Like, OMG, I can NOT believe the people in my school!! Are they even human? No, seriously guys, these immature humans are taking over the high school, and it is SUCH an epidemic. Like, worse than when that dog ate Dan's heart trip in One Tree Hill.

No, like, really. In my English class, Mr. Walker . . . Or is it Mr. Talker? Might as well be, all he does is go on and on and on and on about boring English stuff. Anywho, I was trying to listen to him talk about rhetorical precis (BOR-ING!!!!) and text my BF4LEUTEOTFU (Which, for those people who will one day read my diary entry in the future after I become famous, that stands for “Best Friends 4 Like Ever Until The End Of The Flipping Universe”) Clay and Veronica when I look up at some guy who is sitting across from me. You wouldn't believe this, but he is wearing a My Little Pony shirt! My eight year old sister watches that show, and it is such a little girl show. I would say that this guy is gay, but that would be offensive to Clay, and I care too much about people's feelings. I asked the guy later why he liked the show, and he went on for five minutes about how the show had good drawings and the songs were good. I wasn't paying much attention though, as Veronica texted me that she heard from Crystal who heard from Bobby who heard from Devon's girlfriend that Scott and Gracie might break up. Which, wouldn't be such a loss, Gracie does have crooked teeth.

But seriously Diary, that isn't the worst of it. Veronica, Clay, and I are trying to eat out delish salads for lunch when these girls walk by with these Zelda and Pokemon shirts on. And they weren't even wearing make-up! Can you imagine the horrible childhood they must have had?! Who names a boy Zelda anyways? But no, not the point. Clay says that they meet up after school and play together on their Sega 46's. These “girls”, like, for realz, need to grow up. I even said that to one of them, and she came back to me the next day with some red mushroom. What the heck is going on in her head?! Veronica thinks that they were raised in a cave. I mean, puh-leaze, what a sad life.

Then, there are the goth kids. They hang out in this section called Area 51 (probably because they are from another planet). They even color their hair! Blue, pink, orange; there is even this one girl who has her hair in green spikes! No, these . . . these creatures aren't even worth having a gender!!! Also, they wear these shirts from bands like, ABCD or Airosmith. Their hair is seriously unkempt, they should seriously think about investing in some dog shampoo. My hair, like really, is the most gorgeous thing in our entire school, and my looks compared to theirs are like a Shelby Mustang in a used car lot. Clay said he had to work with one of them for a science project and when he went over to the guys house, the bedroom smelt of sweat and pizza. Clay nearly barfed, as he is vegan and won't even touch a slice of pizza. I just admire his dedication and bravery in such a devastating time.

Countless times I have proposed to my school administrators that we make a school policy against such demonic things. I was so super cereal, but Mr. Bakely brushed me off, saying something about how teenagers (more like children if you ask me) are allowed to be individuals. My response back would have been about how being an individual doesn't mean that they should make our school look like a freak show if he hadn't kicked me out of his office. As captain of the cheer team and president of the “Beauty is Key” club, I am offended. Oh my god I'm like not even joking right now in the amount of disgust I have for my high school.

Well, I don't have time to worry about that. My BF4LEUTEOTFU and I are going to have a Twilight Marathon at Veronica's house tonight. It shall be totes delish!

Goodnight, Dear Diary

~Ashley Marie LockHeart~