Invader

Couplets.

It’s half past four o’clock
And I will sleep no more.

I descend the white gable stair
And out to this able garden fair.

A milky ocean sky
Greeted my tired eyes.

I lie among the grass and fade
Under a quilt of callous words said.

Until something swoops over me
And a little did it me trouble.

An invader blackbird in the early hours
Of this morning so dull and dour.

Not for the first time, I find myself
A trespasser in a garden where Celts often dwelt.

It puts a little trouble in my mind
And a memory I can find.

Vague figures, blended into the ditch
Offended by our very existence.

It came to rest on a northern wall
Chirping natures call to the cold night morn.

Author's Note

A recent experience and an old memory into one and each relates to eachother.

See the War Horse by Eavan Boland for a similar poem, which in part influenced me for this poem.

Reviews

[wolfshrew]

i thought this was wonderful, a few things are discussed in reviews about the ryhming but I don't think it matters if some of the rhyming is "off" or whatever.
it doesn't affect the quality of the poem or interupt any of the great images you have written.

[Dinesh Sairam]

Notwithstanding the fact that this is a great and beautiful write, Rhymes are off at many places. It'd be all the more pleasant if all the couplets rhymed. And you make use of perfect imagery there, so that they almost appear real. Just see to the fact, and if you're willing, make them all rhyme :) Keep writing :)

[Fran Marie]

A well crafted piece to be sure Liked the coplets/form,especially

Vague figures, blended into the ditch
Offended by our very existence.

Beautifully penned

[An owl on the moon]

There is such a peace that flows through your words.. and then those moments of invasion.. wondrous in its curiosity. You bring alive this moment that connects with ancient past and present so beautifully!