~Four~

It took about 30 minutes of stone, cold silent treatment for my mother to stop banging at my locked door once she got home. About 30 minutes after that I got a text from her with the single word dinner. written in my iphone's white bubble. And yet another 30 minutes after that, a handwritten note in my dad's script came through the door. On it, Brought you a plate, it's sitting outside. I love you.

Holding the note to my chest, i took a deep breath, brought the plate of food into my room, let my dog eat it so my dad wouldn't worry, then shut off the lights and went to sleep. 

The next morning I took my time in the shower, trying to focus on the scalding water rather than my mother's passive agressive comments she made just loud enough for me to hear. I just squeezed my eyes shut, and scrubbed harder. Luckily, by the time I'd finished getting ready, she'd already left for work. I let out a sigh of relief. Without feeling the cold resentment of my dear mother, I was able to calmly grab and apple and set out the door to school in peace.

Only there was a black truck blocking my own little car. 

I ran my hands through my hair while I watched Dakota get out of the driver's seat and lean against the car. He nodded at me, not saying anything or moving closer, just waiting for me to make the next move. Honestly, I had no idea in hell what that move would be. I pursed my lips and spun in a sow circle, taking in the impending sense of normalcy that urged me to let go, and the storm inside my innermost being that threatened to pull me away. After a moment I became very aware that Dakota was still staring at me, and a humorless, slightly mad sounding laugh sort of choked it's way out of my throat. His brow furrowed at that.

"Um, what uh... what are you doing here?" I asked, crossing my arms tightly across my chest; I felt suddenly exposed and wanted nothing more than to go inside and put on one of my extra-large cardigans that went down to my knees and enveloped me in a warm, saftey net.

Dakota shrugged easily, his keen gaze never wavering from mine. "Dunno, thought you might want a ride."

My eyes shifted from his eyes, to my used chevy, then down to my feet. "I have a car."

He nodded. "I see that."

"Then what are you doing here?" 

"Look, d****t..." He sighed and ran his hand ruffly through the fringe of his hair. "I just thought after yesterday, you might need-"

"What? Pity?" I finished for him, and shook my head. "Well great, that's great. I knew I should have just kept my mouth shut when you handed me that stupid, note-"

"A friend!" He interrupted, grabbing the hand I was pointing in his face. I yanked it away, and backed up a little to quickly, bumping into my garage door. Guilt and frustration painted Dakota's face. He looked like he wanted to say more, but he bit his tongue and took a step back, holding up his hands in surrender. I looked at him cautiously while taking deep, steadying breaths. The corner of his mouth turned down as he analyzed my response. Giving me a small, knowing nod, he made his was back to his truck.

I took one step after me before fear and doubt planted my feet. An apology, a cry of protest caught in my throat as I watched him get back in his truck and drive away. "S**t," I muttered  under my breath and dropped my face into my hands. I didn't cry- I never really cried anymore- I just stood there for a while with my eyes closed. Well, until a car honk  shocked me back into reality. I jumped a bit, getting a laugh from the stupid senior guys driving by, then got in my car and headed to school.

As soon as I walked into the school, I yet again felt the heat of hundreds of eyes all on me. Though this time there was a knowledge behind them. When I walked by someone, they averted their eyes. When they thought I'd passed, I heard their whispered conversations; the sighs of concern, the rumors of what happened, the accusations of how I let this happened. Each comment cut and sliced at my barely composed emotions.I rushed in to class right as the bell rang and sat in the only open seat. The person to my left stiffened a bit. When a peeked over, my heart dropped.

Dakota was paying strict attention to the lecture, I sighed and tried to the same, but I couldn't stop thinking about how we left things this morning. Biting my lip, I scribbled a note and passed it discretely to his desk. He waited a moment then, without looking away from the board, he drew it into his lap.

I'm sorry. Too much too fast. I don't know how to live anymore.

He looked at me with deep, searching eyes, and I did my best not to shrink back from the intensity. He wrote a note back then, placed it in my hand, then reluctantly turned back to the board.

Let me help you.