The Oak Tree

It was the window that knew me.

It’s cool glass never judging

The tears that fell from my eyes,

For it also seemed to cry.

The rain runs down the glass in a

Melancholic waterfall.

Whispering sweet sympathies

Before it too leaves me

Alone.

Alone with all these searing thoughts-

Racing through my aching mind,

Tearing at my sanity

Begging, pleading, coercing me

To let myself sink down

 Down

        Down into the deep

And to think, for all of that mess!

I blame a simple oak tree.

When I gaze out my window,

It stares back at me, taunting me.

Leaving, a painful memory

Of the one who got away.

Well, what do you want me to say?

Shall I lie and call him worthless?

Listen when my friends sigh and say,

“You can find joy some other day.”

But no, He was so beautiful.

Beautiful because he loved me,

Beautiful because of his smile,

Beautiful because every time

He looked at me, my heart

Started thump-thump-thumping wild.

We met when he was 13,

And I was 12 years old;

We sat under the old oak tree,

Huddling against the cold.

He told me his name was John,

I replied with “Eloise”,

And when he smiled at me so sweet

That oak became my favorite tree.

And so as the leaves grew in spring,

So grew my love for him,

And in turn his love for me.

During my 16th winter

On this lovely earth,

He gave me my very first kiss,

Unlocking a new world of warmth.

His lips were far, far gentler

Than the lazy summer breeze,

Oh and much, much softer

Than snow that tickled and teased.

From that point on, the oak was ours.

I planted daisies in the grass,

He hung a swing from a low branch,

Hiding while outside time still passed.

I couldn’t count how many days

I spent lounging in his arms

Under the ever changing leaves,

Come winter snow, or summer storm.

Every time I see the trunk

Tears come racing down my cheek;

For in a heart’s carved “J+E”

And there it stays eternally.

He carved it for me on the day

When the sun hid from the rain.

When complete, he dropped to one knee

Asking, “Eloise, marry me?”

My tears watered the flowers,

Filling them with joy and love,

As I leaped into my John’s arms,

Kissing him deep, becoming one.

In a whirlwind, I became his,

The two of us, laying in our bed

Whispering sweet promises

To love each other beyond death.

When the honey moon ended,

And we returned to our tree,

I let out a shocked cry,

When I found it had lost it’s leaves.

John sagged and ran to our oak,

I followed fast into his arms,

When I saw the daises wilted,

And the swing lost it’s sweet charm.

John held my hand, and kissed my cheek,

Sighing, “It still says J+E”.

He coughed once then took me inside,

One cough that I let fly by…

Little did I know he too would die.

He left a few months later,

In the midst of our peaceful sleep.

I woke to his arms once strong and nice

Now gone limp and cold around me.

At first, I couldn’t even cry.

I just stared out our- my-  window

To see the oak covered in white:

Pale like a winter ghost.

Now I’d lost the two creatures,

In this world, I had loved the most.

“How could you John?” I whispered,

Then cried, then screamed then yelled.

“Don’t you know that without you

My life is a living hell!”

That’s how my neighbor found me,

Sobbing, screaming at the dead.

She pulled me off John and I’s bed,

(Well, I suppose it’s only mine)

Took me to my kitchen for tea,

Then quickly called the police.

His death was no one’s fault, they said

It was a rare and fast disease,

And though they gave me all the facts,

All I could think of was our tree.

So now I sit in the dark,

Just longing to feel his hands

Come up and cover my eyes,

While he whisper’s soft “Surprise”.

When I close my eyes I can feel,

His lips still pressing against mine.

It makes me want to disappeared,

Then maybe I can find

The man who called me beautiful,

The man who ran out of time.

Tonight I walk out to our oak,

A rope hanging from my hand,

I smile and kiss our pretty tree,

Gazing one last time at this land.

I take a breath then sigh and say,

“I’m coming John, today’s the day.”

Reviews

[Davidgeo]

Ugh...

word economy. You should look into it.

[C. Lee Battaglia]

He left a few months later,
In the midst of our peaceful sleep.
I woke to his arms once strong and nice
Now gone limp and cold around me.

This poem was so heartfelt!
I struggle with anxiety and depression and it sucks. It's something I'll have to deal with my whole life. But where my source of joy comes from is writing. It helps me understand who I am and what I go through. These words are very real feelings that are very common in todays world. You are an extremely talented writer/author and I just want to let you know that, whenever you are going through something difficult or it just seems to much, just write! It will help you and others around you.
Your writing is incredible and keep up the incredible work!
If you want to, could you read my story, "the blonde girl," you don't have to if you don't want to, I just felt like I should share it with you.

Your friend,

C. Lee Battaglia

[Sir Drift & Mr. Pulse]

Yes, this is beautiful, such vividness, and such connection, Ill be reading this some more and other of your stuff. Beautiful

[Lost in Wonderland]

thank you!

[Gypsy Warrior Queen]

This isn't a poem...This is a life! What a beautiful and tragic life, all growing in a soul tree. This is pretty amazing stuff! I'm so glad I looked through this window.

[Terohime]

Oh wow, the emotional ride that this takes the reader through is just outstanding. Love, lost, anger, and acceptance. When reading this i could feel the love between the two, the joy, the sorrow. It was like i was right there with Eloise, and john. Each word flowed from one to the other like the breeze through the air.

The loss of the things she loved the most, struck me. I felt her pain, i felt here sorrow. It was breath taking, and i would read this over and over again. It captures the love that rarely few get to have. It captures the sorrow of a heart break, of a life that was lost, and a spouse who struggles with that loss.

Really a wonderful write, i loved every bit.
Keep it up.
~Res

[Lost in Wonderland]

Thank you!!!

[Dandelion]

This was so captivating, beautifully written!

[Lost in Wonderland]

Thank you so much:)

[Lux Viam]

It was beautifully tragic.

[Lost in Wonderland]

Thank you:)

[...]

This was so...sigh...I felt this deeply

[Lost in Wonderland]

Thank you very much, I'm so glad this resonated with you :)
God Bless
-Mickey

[J. Land]

I have to say, I thought I'd reviewed this months ago. I guess not. I remember reading it. I remember remembering it. It stuck with me, for its tragedy and eloquence, its compact story-telling, the way if flowed in rhythm with the speaker's state of mind. It remains lovely in detail and strong in emotional impact. Thank you for sharing it. I'm sorry for not mentioning this sooner.

[Lost in Wonderland]

Thank you so much for this lovely and encouraging review :)
God bless

[J. Land]

It was a pleasure to read.

Peace of Christ

[AnnaMae]

This gave me chills at the very end. I loved it, the flow of it was natural and the words chosen carefully. It tells a sad story, but is passionate and longing as well.

[Lost in Wonderland]

thank you so much