Shadows of my Mind

Shadows play off these suffocating walls

Pulling on the strings of my fragile sanity

Toying around in the dark recesses of my mind

Playing sinister little tricks on my eyes

 

Black silhouettes shoot me evil grins

Airy fingers of night curling around my throat

Pulling me down into crimson pools

Laughing as I drown in a sea of my own paranoia

 

My life starts to slowly drain out

Spining in smokey tendrils into their starving mouths

They feed off my immense fear, savoring each bite

Through out this seemingly eternity of ebony night

Author's Note

yeah...I'm a scared person.__. God has the glory and may He bless you!
Love always
~Mickey

Reviews

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Oh Mickey, I so wish your wonderful writing was not so sad to read and I pray you may move on to write some warm and hopeful pieces. You are a really god poet.

[Lost in Wonderland]

Some people in my family might agree with you haha. but thank you and hopefully i'll find something that lets me write happy poems soon(:

[WarriorElectric]

I particularly like this one, it's beautifully intense and it brings out your emotions on that way so we can really easily comprehend them. Great job! :)

[Lost in Wonderland]

Thanks Ella(:
God Bless

[An owl on the moon]

Deep brush-stroked shadows on your mind's canvas it seems... and it hurts just to think of you ever hurting this way... I've walked in that valley too.. the valley of the shadow... felt the cold chill of existence. May God always light your dark path with His light.

[Pax]

the strings of my fragile sanity
~wow this is a powerful imagery i stumble upon...dark and mysterious...i see you've touch your dark corners in your mind...
Great write...

[Lost in Wonderland]

Thank you friend

[Falling Leaf.]

Before I jump into my review of the poem as a whole I will let you know that spelling errors in the title makes the poem seem very unappealing. You misspelled shadows, both in the title and in the first stanza. You also misspelled silhouttes, and paranoia, and smoky....that's the only major grammar hiccups I could find.

Now, as for the picture of the piece and the message behind it. It's an okay poem, dark and mysterious, but without any clear enemy. That doesn't matter, it was still chilling.

I'm giving you a 90 out of 100 because of the spelling errors. Fix those and this will be perfect.

[Falling Leaf.]

Woops, forgot to mention that you also misspelled tendrils

[Lost in Wonderland]

Thanks i fixed the first ones, I'll fix that too. I'm an awful speller

[Falling Leaf.]

That's just fine, it's what us reviewers are here for :)

[Tai Ryens]

Well now, you've a lovely genre at your disposal, Mickey. In truth, the lines seem strained here and there, but you'll eventually loosen up and be able to write to your heart's content; assuming you stick with the genre for awhile.

[Lost in Wonderland]

That's for the review, I plan to continue exploring this genre and trying to ease the flow:)