Lost, but not yet found

Gliding through a field of dying grass

A breeze of virulent air threatens to suffocate me

It seems Like I've been lost for years, tip-toeing on broken glass

And he watches, just waiting for me to fall

 

A breeze of virulent air threatens to suffocate me

Attempting to turn my soul pitch black

Its a raging war inside to win the light back

 

It seems Like I've been lost for years, tip-toeing on broken glass

Trying not come to my inevitable death

Stuggling to take atleast one steady breath

 

And he watches, just waiting for me to fall

He sees that I'm naught but a lost lamb, full of fright

But I promise, I'm not going down withought a fight

Author's Note

My first ever Trimeric poem, I wrote it quickly so I'm not sure if I like it....
Feel free to give your honest opinion. If it's bad I want to fix it!!

Reviews

[C.A. Lucas]

It's so true! I am experiencing the same things you are in this piece. I really, really like it. Not just the writing, but what's behind it.

[Lost in Wonderland]

Thank you!
God bless

[T.C. Banks]

No words in my vocabulary can express how I felt reading this...and on a side note I also read all of the comments...I must say I'm so glad to have found God fearing people here...it truly fills my heart with joy that people still believe in Him

[Lost in Wonderland]

Thank you and I agree

[rnuff]

This is a really good write, like the rhyme scheme.

[Lost in Wonderland]

thanks:)

[ewest1220]

This was fantastic it's going into my favorites! This actually just might be the best thing I've read from you I love the conflict and the refusal to give into the darkness. Great job!

[Lost in Wonderland]

oh my gosh thank you so much! :) I think this just made my night haha:)
God Bless
~Mickey

[J. Viands]

Excellent example of the never ending dance between one’s own yin and yang in this case God and the Devil. I have attempted trimeric form many times before it’s not always the easiest style to pull off. Well done the emotion stays on point, the message is clear, and a strong picture is painted. I appreciate the addressing of both sides of a coin that is man… in this case women. Not a lot of people are willing to do both either always simply looking at only the good or only looking at the bad. Keep it up yo!

[Lost in Wonderland]

Thank you for the review!
God Bless

[Soul Fire]

You are an amazing writer.

[Lost in Wonderland]

Thank you!
God has the glory :)

[Soul Fire]

you're welcome

[Rhianne Ney]

Is it about God?

[Lost in Wonderland]

I'm I'm a sense. It's about an internal conflict between light and dark in the soul and the dark being is waiting to win, but it's like trying to find your way to complete faith in God but there are struggles

[Rhianne Ney]

oh... this is good, you know the Prodigal son? he was lost but found...
Great imagery, we can always return to God... He's patient with us after all

[Lost in Wonderland]

Yes He is :) He has stuck with me through so much junk in my life...it's amazing

[Rhianne Ney]

yeah..GOD will always be with you

[Lost in Wonderland]

Amen

[The Scholar]

Good for you! Never go down without a fight ;)

Brilliant poem! I feel like I'm teetering on the edge of some dark, cavernous space the whole time I'm reading it.
You have a way with words

[Lost in Wonderland]

Thank you so much:)
God bless

[TheJordBaker]

Trimeric poetry isn't something I'm familiar with but I enjoyed nonetheless. Haunting and moving are the best two words I can use.

[Lost in Wonderland]

Thank you very much:)
God bless

[FrancescaX]

wow.. I wish i knew what trimeric meant.
The poem is sweet and sexy ( that's my most famous and highest compliment;))

[Lost in Wonderland]

haha awesome! Thank you!!!
God Has the glory

[FrancescaX]

You're welcome. God gas the glory always. Besides, he is the giver.

[Lost in Wonderland]

He is

[FrancescaX]

I hope there are people who will come to understand that. Viva

[Lost in Wonderland]

me too