Imaginary Foe

Torture me into subserve
And never question want for less...
Dim this passion in oppression,
And twist knife in back deeper...
Robe in sackcloth and forgetfulness...
Hollow out pouring heart...
And you, my play Anubis, deem
Me fit prisoner of your hades...
Flitting rumours pass the challenge
That Kronos' greatest lover failed...
Make me foe within your mind,
And twist full truths into half lies,
And in last moments, deem me your hate
And get your vengeance...

Author's Note

so I wanted to be a victim. tell me if it works.

Reviews

[Jake Staffeld]

It seems like someone wanting to be a victim- someone doing this to themselves. If that was what you were going for, good job. If you wanted someone who was a victim outside their control, you pry want to include less of a telling feeling, and more of a lamenting feeling.

Overall, a pretty good write.

[Coyote Poetry]

You create a desire of victim with this poem. Sometime allowing someone to win is a small victory in some cases. I like the complete poem. The ending made the poem complete.
Coyote

[M.Babu]

The diction in your pieces are always magnanimously sharp.

Powerful words and a great bearing.

~M.Babu~

[Jazique]

It worked for a such a small poetry with big words. well done I love the descriptions and creativity used. keep up the work.

[SINDE]

Nice write.
That Kronos' greatest lover failed..
Make me foe within your mind,
And twist full truths into half lies...

[Calypso]

Sometimes out Imaginary Foe is ourselves.

[Bryan Micheni]

subservience... poetic license.