Disproportionation

Sweeten now what's left of sorrow.
Burden me with all, again,
And let me care not of tomorrow...
Today's here, so we'll remain
Lost in tragic, slow confusion
With nothing left to feel, but words
And with it all, an illusion
Of being one, on different worlds.
Oh, i wish you were here with me,
In my arms, under my power
And in music and calumny
Celebrate our final hour...
But like strand of smoke, i faded
Into cloudy dark of heart...
And like so many others, hated
All i found in the end...
A darkness, blackness, reassuring,
To hold me in forever.

Author's Note

Heard the title in a sentence and let it write itself...

Reviews

[Angela]

Deeply desolate. " With nothing left to feel but words" Leaves the reader feeling the hollowness those words would hold. A darkened peace at the end. This one made me think. I am sure I will return to it. I feel that I have missed something important and its at the tip of my tongue. Thank you. I don't usually puzzle or get drawn in.

[Tasha]

I have felt like this many times before, and you captured the feeling very well. I love the title. Thank you.
♥ Ta'Shandra

[Calypso]

There have been time where I've felt like this and said that I was done with it (what even it was). It does seem the darkness can hold you.
I like this poem.

[Coyote Poetry]

A poem with a lot of hidden pain and story. Sometime life leave us alone to think of mistakes and things left behind. I like how each statement had a reason. The ending gave the story the real feel and emotion of the poem.
"A darkness, blackness, reassuring,
To hold me in forever."
Thank you for the outstanding poem.
Coyote

[Skoo.]

"Sweeten now what's left of sorrow.
Burden me with all, again,
And let me care not of tomorrow.
Today's here, so we'll remain "
These opening lines are so powerful, they draw the reader in, and the closing lines resonate and leave you momentarily speechless...
All in all, an amazingly brilliant poem.
I love it (:

[M.Babu]

Despite the sole typo on the 13th line ("strands/a strand" maybe?) this was absolutely enriched with perfection! What sentiment and weight your words convey. This is definitely wonderful!


"Sweeten now what's left of sorrow.
Burden me with all, again,
And let me care not of tomorrow...
Today's here, so we'll remain
Lost in tragic, slow confusion
With nothing left to feel, but words
And with it all, an illusion"

Outstanding!

[Chris Smith Welshpoetcs]

I like the word play my friend.

[Zypy Kirubi]

Deep!..and interesting ;p

[Dahlia Phoenix]

That was beautifully written and I love the dark love that's written beneath it.
My favorite quote was:
"But like strand of smoke, i faded
Into cloudy dark of heart.."
That's amazing and you're writing is superb. Keep it up.