My Mind is a Mansion, Housed in a Computer

I have no clue how a computer works. these are just the terms for what I feel happening.

Hale : ♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

Looking for help without knowing how to ask. 

"Sometimes living feels just like drowning." A sadly true phrase; especially for me, and especially right now. Every breath feels like natural swimming pool rocks, every exhale like air replaced by water. The cells in my body are constantly screaming out, begging for help or even the tiniest shred of recognition. 

Hale : ♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

Command center is broken fully now, and we still haven't hired a mechanic to take a look. Every day, the pile of issues, hard drive fails, input updates, and basic rendering difficulties leave me spinning in a whirlwind of stutters, panicked looks, and silent tears running down my face. 

Hale : ♡♡♡♡♡♡

We still need to build a safety case over the Emotion Override button, as any slight bump to it will throw the host body into convulsions and hyperaware hyperactivity, along with the Thought Races being opened and the Doubt Tree shaking in the wind. I think I have all of the tools...I just need to find a contractor. 

Hale : ♡♡♡

My pain regulator is also failing. The cold draft that has passed over my town froze the lock and broke it. We put bars over the door in an attempt to keep it closed, but winds of self-hate blew through to break the bars down. 

Hale : ♡♡

My mind is a mansion, housed in a computer. The rooms are cloaded in thought-numbing paint, constantly working against the very servers that are looking for the workers we need. The floors are coated in executive dysfuntion, making every step like quicksand, and losing hearts with every step. The hall lights illuminate my past failures like a lighthouse breaking through the fog.

Hale : ♡

 

My distress is no longer a surprise to me. It comes and goes, accompanying the foals wandering the Thought Pastures. I often sit at the fate, watching Distress push the foals around, away from their mothers, and into the watering pond to drown them.

Hale :   

My mind is a mansion, housed in a computer.