Someday

Someday we'll finally be together. Someday you'll be able to walk up behind me and wrap your arms around my waist, whisper "you look beautiful" in front of everybody without any worry. Someday we'll be able to share early morning smoothies, and late night fudgesicles. Someday. Someday, we'll be able to walk along the roadside holding hands and talking to one another without wondering who might see us. 

I dream of "someday" a lot, if you couldn't tell. I think about it all the time, like it's the one thing in my day that keeps me going. I realize, after a while, that it's not what keeps me going. Your love is. Your love keeps me on my feet all the time, because I know it's true and I know it will always be there. 

You taught me how to love myself, and how to take people's opinions as a grain of salt. You showed me how to be self-confident, and how to stand up to bullying. You taught me the importance of self-worth, and of compassion. You showed me time and time again what it means to be loved, what it means to love wholly. What it means to be loved wholly. I learned from you the importance of early mornings, of reading my Bible whenever I get the chance, of learning from others mistakes to avoid making my own. All of these and many many more. 

I don't know how to explain to you the impact you've had on my life. All I know is that it's there, and it's big. Really big. So many things you have given me, and every one is precious. I've told you over and over again that I love what you've taught me, the person you've helped me to become, yet here I am. Bragging about you for the world to see. I love you, babe, always have, always will. You know that. What you don't know, however, is the level you hold in my heart. If my heart could span a sea, you'd cover two. If my heart could fill a page, you'd be a book. If my love could fill a body, you're the one. 

I want to be with you for the rest of my life, through the ups and the downs, the mistakes and the failures. Because life is hard, and because God knew I'd need you, he allowed me to catch  your eye that first day. I don't know how many nights I sat wide awake in my bed planning out every second of my life, yet there was never a man in said plans. But now there is! I don't know how to explain it, don't know if I ever could, but you've made my life so much better. 

I want to marry you.

I want to live with you.

I want to eat late night dinners with you.

I want to binge watch Netflix shows with you.

I want to fall asleep next to you. 

I want to make breakfast for you. I want to go on walks with you. I want to go to the movies with you. I want to make you better when you're sick, and to be gently tended for by you when I'm sick. I want to be that girl that crosses your mind when you see a cute skirt, or a beautiful dress. I want to go on midnight coffee runs with you, and laugh at stupid jokes with you. I want to tell you someday that you're going to be a daddy, and I want to be with you for the rest of my life. The rest of your life. 

Baby, I want to be yours.