He’s Just a Friend

True story about a daily struggle of mine and a friend.

I don’t love him I care why can’t I just be friends with him?
Why do they judge and attack me for being friends with someone triple my age?
Why can’t I just have a nice chat with the one person I can relate to and share many interests with?
Why do they joke that he must be my sugar daddy, or that I love him?
Why can’t a friend just be a friend?
Do the threats and insults you throw at my FACE EVER�"
ever go away?

I know you joke and laugh, but
you truly believe that I think it’s funny. It’s not,
and I don’t laugh so why do you still say that? It hurts and I cry
because you make him out to be some predator or me
some w***e who must really be horny? Well I’m not, but you say,
“hey! It’s just a joke, come on I was being funny.”
“There must be something going on because every time I say it,
you defend him.

Are you two dating?”
F**k you man, he HAS A WIFE!
He has three kids, a family Christ!
Open your eyes and leave him and me be.
It’s a friendship that you and many others just can’t see. And for the life of me,
I try (and try!), to prove you all wrong, to show you
how great our FRIENDSHIP is. But they still giggle when they see me with him.

I don’t get it, why a man can’t be friends with a girl without others accusing him of a pedophile
or sex offender,
or WHATEVER they make him out to be!
I wish I could say I don’t care and move on, or
laugh along with you even though you should know
you’re wrong.

Instead I stay silent and go on,
ignoring your words and
staying up at night worrying.
Is he taking advantage of me? But
he’s not, and I know it. I pinch myself and flinch.
These thoughts YOU'VE imbedded
in my head are killing me!

Never mind, forget it.

He’s just a friend, and that’s it.

-Michelle L.

Author's Note

The beginning wasn’t meant to become a poem, but it ended up like this. What are your critiques? I’m not a great writer at all, probably the farthest from one. Please give a response!