Two Wrongs Don't Make A Right

A man visits a friend and tells her about his frustrating morning dealing with bad drivers

     Knock, knock, I heard at the front door. I saw my friend Steve’s gold colored Monte Carlo parked in the driveway through the peep hole and when I opened it there he was. He greeted my dog Pepper and came in the living room and sat down.

     “I just had an unbelievably weird morning.” He announced.

     “What happened?” I inquired.

       “Monte needed a timing belt and I didn’t have the equipment to do the job so I went to the only repair shop in town I trust and left it there yesterday. The owner gave me a ride home. This morning I got up and called up the shop and they said the car was ready so I asked mom to give me a ride. It’s only a mile or so from the house. She’s a terrible driver but even she can make it a mile I figured. She left the house and instead of turning left onto the road that goes right to the place she turned right.”

     “Why did you turn right” I asked her.

     “I never turn left.” She answered.

     “What do you mean you never turn left? You can’t never turn left.” I was puzzled by her answer.

     “Yes I can. I will turn right at the next street and then right again.” She earnestly answered.

     “So you always turn right three times to go left?” I was dumbfounded.

     “Of course I do dear.” She seemed totally nonplussed by my amazement. ”Why wouldn’t I?”

       “I didn’t say anything as I could tell logic wasn’t going to get me anywhere. She dropped me off and I went in and I paid the bill and left. I decided to come over and visit you rather than go right home. I turned on to the main street that goes to your house and I was following an old white Thunderbird. When the side street came up that I needed to turn on the car suddenly turned the same direction I was going so I followed it. The car was moving so slow I was hoping it would keep on going straight when I got to the street I needed to turn on to get here. Just before it passed that street the car turned the same way I was going. So I went ahead and followed it. Then the car just stopped right in the middle of the road. No signal or anything. I couldn’t believe it. What an a*****e! I was just about to floor it and go around but I decided to get out and see what kind of a jerk was driving like that. I walked up the driver’s side of the car and looked in and there was a lady leaning over the seat doing something on the floor. I knocked on the window and she looked up with a startled expression. She rolled down the window.”

     “What the hell are you doing?” I managed to get out.

     “My purse fell over and everything spilled out.” She answered.

    “So you just stopped the car in the middle of the road?” I was getting pissed off.

     “I didn’t realize there was anyone behind me.” She looked worried.

     “Why don’t you look in the mirror or use your turn signals?” I was hopping mad by this time.

     “Oh I never use them.” She now looked scared.

      I don’t know if there was anything she could have said at this point which would have appeased me but that wasn’t it. I reached in the car and broke off the turn signal and dropped it to the floor. “Then I guess you don’t need it.”

      She looked terrified. I turned around and walked back to my car and drove around her and came over here. I wondered how she was going to explain this to her husband. At least my mom really is crazy.”

     By the time Steve was done telling me the story I was laughing uncontrollably. I can’t stand people who don’t use their turn signals. It’s such an easy thing to do, it saves people from running into each other yet so many people are rude or just plain stupid and yes three rights do make a left.

Reviews

[Marie]

Amazing story. I' still working on the "three rights making a left" idea. I suppose in would work in theory, I just can't seem to get my mind around it.

[Michele Rae DeJean]

Besides my friend Steve's crazy mother actually turning right three times to go left I put the phrase "three wrongs don't make a right but three rights make a left" because it sounded like it ought to be significant and I got several hits. Check it out it kind of surprised me. Thank you for reading my story.