Quite Cautiously

Quite Cautiously

Friday, January 16, 2009 at 10:23pm |

 

Quite cautiously she creeps
hand over foot
through the rustling leaves
eyes wide as the moon
and soul spinning threads through the darkened trees
spilling spells from her mouth

Whisper whisper quietly she creeps
foot over hand
through the woods and the trees
eyes sparking the stars
heart drawing wild from the sky
and the sap from the trees

Slipping through the silence she creeps
so shadowlessly
to the black pooled pond
where the glass glazed water lazes
so timelessly
so laden with life

One finger dips the water like a star
crossed lover she stirrs
a single note into life
then another to follow
the first

Eyes embracing the dawn
throat bubbling with new songs
she rises to greet the sun

Reviews

[Jonathan Ballam]

Wow! Such a delicate, and beautiful piece. There are some great moments in this piece. There's just one small little niggle, and that would be don't you think that you could tighten up by taking out 'Quite' and just starting with cautiously.

That would be my only little knit-pick. Everything else can pretty much stay as it is, IMO.