The beautifully hurrying act of change in the air.

On my stoop, it strikes 4AM and I'm asking myself, "What the f**k am I doing?"

the thought of change is well, to me, one of the greatest tasks we'll ever have to face. I've stumbled over it again, again, again and yet again. The amount of time I've actively fucked up, slept it off and woke up, only to do it once more almost seems infinite at this point. I write to myself in my phones note section, given myself lectures in the car, hell I've thought I had life altering experiences that lent me blinding truth. But the real truth is that I'm majorly and horrifyingly incomplete. I can admit, finally, that I'm simply NOT the s**t. I don't have the goods. I'm no kind of catch. This is not to say I can't be. I mean, comeon, you've GOT what it takes...you've just yet to tap into it. I can only sit here with you, who in whole is just us; one in the same; attached at the hip for physical and spiritual existence, and repeat the reasons time after time of who you should become. Transferring yourself into beast, so to speak. Conquering lands, if you will. Becoming the mortal man you were supposed to be is one thing. Surviving and providing is yet another thing. And as this digital notebook sits on your oversized pouch you call a belly, bouncing from the contact of the 4 fingers you awkwardly use to type...say to yourself again, "What will I do better tomorrow?" Tonight is distant and lost. Time stands still in darkness, while everyone sleeps off today to bring in tomorrow. Not including the drunk boy that just stumbled and lazily scraped his feet across the sidewalk, that is not who you strive to be.

Your glass of water sits beside you as you look over at it's calm dimension, standing still while the crickets steal the air around you. Your stoop is nothing short of of cell. Hell, there is even a wooden gate for the dogs in front of its exit. To fully push it aside on a day where the sun is highest in the sky is your true step, and that's still only the first one, so don't get you hopes up. But you'll dart out from its small exit, finding entities that will kill to capture your fall. But all the same, and you'll know when you see one, you'll catch glimpse of a friend willing to lend you some perspective on how things got so s****y out here for him and you. He'll lend your a helping and and maybe even dust you off. In that you'll feel a slight burn inside of yourself. Don't ignore it but let it pass and feel it while it does...you might just need it for later.

I think, I think and then I write just the same amount. This isn't our first rodeo, as we can plainly see. If we're lucky, we'll never really stop growing, learning and striving to do so. Let us make the best of it while we're here and lets share it with the ones you love.

Make your life orgasmic; on trip on LSD, not to the corner store for smokes.

The cigarette that staines your fingers is also staining your moist insides. It's not helping you with your thought process. Everything you have, you own. And guess what, you don't have the cigarettes...those little sticks of death have you.

The pornographic videos you just watched, the one that just rotted half an inch of your imagination and what the kids refer to today as, "swag." But I'll stick with mojo for lack of damnation along with the rest. Those pair of tits were perfect. But they also weren't real. That position he put her in...the one that made your body heat rise. She hated the cramp that worsened in her thigh and anticipated its finale.

Those curtains that you never forget to close before you lay down at night isn't just blocking the morning sun. It's blocking a healthy chunk of your time. A chunk that could otherwise be spent creating a short story or replenishing your poorly dimmed social skills.

Put down the little silent darklings that inch toward your mind in the night, convincing you to destroy yourself sooner before later. Our daily habits are a main source of our population control. Take life by its f****n' balls. Stretch that s**t out and manipulate it to your very liking.