Masks Undone

Well, this is mostly a procrastination of an English assignment I'm supposed to be working on, but also it's been in my mind for a while. I did, in fact, make it a bit tricky. So ponder ;)

Misconducted lies

Mixed with deviled pride

Hatred spoken tongues

Speech with reveled sin

 

In masks frozen

Cold abyss awoken

Changing their minds

Drowning their faith

 

What one wears they will become

Carnival masks will come undone

Revealing someone that is new

In a body former used

 

What brings life, but death itself?

To balance us, we burn in hell.

Given up for sacrifice?

No need to die to prove a lie.

 

 Taken into perspective we hide a truth

Covered by fear and set excuse

Stories made, a mask of death,

Masks untold, with our last breadth. 

Author's Note

I didn't try grammar in this, meaning I didn't use the time to add commas (mostly) where they needed to go, separating the lines and such, but that shouldn't bother the story. Hopefully. Enjoy and tell me what you think after reading this. Have a cup of coffee over it.

Reviews

[TheDuchessDiary]

I agree with the others. It's quite deep. But I like it. It reminds me of the Phantom of the Opera (speaking of masks) and our town's Masskara Festival. :) Back to the content, the words were powerful and convincing. When I read it, I also came to think of the people around me. *Thumbs up*

[Frieda P]

I'm feeling some religious undertones here and a coming of self realization, I could be way off, they've told me to stop smoking that funny stuff. Not bad for a 12 year old. Good work kid. ;-)

[Michael Thrower]

Pshhh, 12 *rolls eyes* And no religious stuff. Politics. Glad you enjoyed though :D

[Frieda P]

Religion, politics, same difference, all run by corporations...and you told me you were 12 smartass! ;P

[Michael Thrower]

Lol that was a JOKE, cutie ;D Hahaha

[Frieda P]

I know, I guess you don't speak sarcasm....

[Michael Thrower]

lol I suppose not D: Now I feel like a jerk.

[Frieda P]

no comment ;P

[Michael Thrower]

Awweee I'm sorry :(

[Frieda P]

Michael, go to your room, you're not ready to play with the big girls yet....lol

[Michael Thrower]

Hahahaha, oh goodness gracious...

[Frieda P]

:D

[Michael Thrower]

;)

[That_Girl]

Well that makes last night a "cart before the horse" type of situation... damn.

[Michael Thrower]

Say what

[Frieda P]

what's your problem Michael, you don't speak Avy either? ;-P

[Michael Thrower]

Haha I don't speak it very well ;) But I can listen. And it's always so arousing.

[That_Girl]

I was joking. I was saying I slept with you last night. I'm a big girl.... cart before the horse... something out of order.

[Michael Thrower]

You're tiny. ;) And cuuuuteee.

[That_Girl]

Hahahah < 3

[Michael Thrower]

Ohhh you found out how to make a heart without it messing everything up! :D < 3

[That_Girl]

Keegan I think did it on my poem.... :D < 3 < 3

[Michael Thrower]

F**k him. I'm not doing it anymore. < / 3

[That_Girl]

Huh?! What happened?! D:

[Michael Thrower]

He's a b***h. That's what happened.

[Fish]

1. Tea is superior to coffee, and 2. This was utterly fantastic. I don't really know how to describe it other than using synonyms of majestic, incredible.. etc etc.
It flows nicely and has a lot deep meaning behind it.
Absolutely fantastic!
~Fish Myrseth

[Michael Thrower]

Eh. I like coffee better. But some teas are good. The standard Bigelow teas you can get from convenience stores usually suck though...

Anyway, thank you for reading! Glad you enjoyed :D

[Tori]

Wow so true after I understood it,it flows and is amazing

[eglantine]

based on your fave writers, i can def see their influence in your writing. I love the line, "What brings life, but death itself?" It's my favorite. Last line, I'd change "breadth" to "breath" which means forced rhyme instead but I think I like ending with forced rhyming instead of regular rhyming, fits your poem more. thanks for sharing and i think i will have that cup of coffee

[Michael Thrower]

Hahaha, that's awesome! Hope you enjoy it too ;P Thank you so much for the review.

[T. Logan]

It's kinda dark but really beautiful at the same. I would have a cup of coffee with it, but caffeine and I do not mix. This was a really good poem!

[Michael Thrower]

Haha xD Thank you for the review; and not even decaf?

[T. Logan]

Nope. I'm not a coffee person.

[WhiteWillow]

Loved this piece. Its a scary thought to think that there are those who will do as others do, rather than be true to themselves. A wonderful read.

[Michael Thrower]

Thank you very much :)

[PaperLife]

There's a darkness that creeps around in your poem stirring more than thought but the demons lurking in the unearthed glories inside.It's deep and powerful and as I read it, it was as if I was pulled into what hides away behind the walls and the breath was sucked from the deepest parts inside of me. This poem has a way of stirring inside and pressing truths against the wall to force the truth from hidden desperations.

Your words flow and move and deeply search. Revealing and solving. Moving with such poetic life then settling on nothing. You ended it perfectly as well.

I loved it, well done :)

[Michael Thrower]

That was an epic review. Thank you so much.

[PaperLife]

Well it was an epic poem!

[Tatiana]

i really liked this , lol its funny i was drinking coffee reading this.
loved the flow, really liked this part

Taken into perspective we hide a truth
Covered by fear and set excuse
Stories made, a mask of death,
Masks untold, with our last breadth.

good job :)

[Michael Thrower]

Why thank you! -bows-

And what kind of coffee was it? :D

[Tatiana]

haha the kind you drink silly !

[Michael Thrower]

Lol sounds great!

[Tatiana]

haha oh yeah you know it !
lol nothing special just starbucks :)

[Michael Thrower]

I love Starbucks. Their blonde roast is my new favorite.

[Tatiana]

right , love it !

[RachelReaper]

*shivering with the darkened chill of it* loved it :D

[Pax]

the fourth stanza makes me really wonder.. you have some deep emotion here hidden.. great!